(Affs?)
I once went to see the doctor to tell him about the irrepressible desire I had to stick my knob into the bacon slicer at the local co-op as it absolutely mesmerised me. He told me that I must suppress these desires, as to give in to them would lead to dire consequences. I suppressed them for a while, but in the end gave in. Obviously this needed another visit to the doctors. I told him he was right about the dire consequences. I am now banned from the co-op and she got the sack.