Fresh from the Inbox

[Just One More]

[apc2010]

 

[Darwins Selection]

 

[Steve]

 

[Barman]

 

[beerhead]

An old lady came into her doctor's consulting room and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odour. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

[Steve]

 

[Darwins Selection]

An old lady came into her doctor's consulting room and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odour. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

[Barman]

An old lady came into her doctor's consulting room and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odour. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, and they're still soundless, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."

 

[Just One More]

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it

[Barman]

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it

 

 

[Steve]

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it

 

 

 

[apc2010]

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it

 

[Darwins Selection]

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it

 

 

 

[Steve]

A Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. Unfortunately, all the Catholic facilities were completely full so they had
to put him in a Protestant home. After a few weeks in the new facility, they came to visit their abuelo.

"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.

"It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.

"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him "Maestro". 'Ha Ha Ha. lovely people everyone of them'


"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him "Your Honour".
'Ha Ha Ha. so lovely'


"And there's a physician here that is 90 years old. He hasn't practiced medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him "Doctor"
'Ha ha Ha, so lovely'


"And me, I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'The Fucking Mexican"! 'Ha Ha Ha. see what I mean'