Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 790319 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4290 on: October 03, 2017, 09:42:21 PM »


 Thumbs:

Why do I get the feeling that Padlock Pockets is considering this for real...  rubschin:
I went to a Country and Western concert in Las Vegas.

All I got was this bloody T-shirt...

 lol:  lol:  lol:  redface:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4291 on: October 04, 2017, 12:07:23 AM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4292 on: October 04, 2017, 03:17:26 AM »


 Thumbs:

Why do I get the feeling that Padlock Pockets is considering this for real...  rubschin:
I went to a Country and Western concert in Las Vegas.

All I got was this bloody T-shirt...

happy001
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4294 on: October 04, 2017, 10:13:13 PM »
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement when the Japanese man starts to yell louder. “You sign! You sign!” Nelson says to him, “Look mate, you’ve obviously got the wrong bloke. Get lost!.” and shuts the door in the Japanese man’s face.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Japanese man is back, with a huge truck full of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson’s nose, yelling “You sign! You sign!” Mr. Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Japanese man back, shouting: “Look, get lost!! You’ve got the wrong bloke! I don’t want them!” then slams the door in the Japanese man’s face again.
The following day Nelson is resting, when he hears a knock on the door again. After opening the door, the little Japanese man thrusts the same clipboard under his nose, shouting “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him are TWO large trucks full of wing mirrors. Nelson loses his temper completely, picks the little man up by his shirt front and yells at him: “Look, I don’t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who is it, you want to give all these car parts to?” The little Japanese man is a bit puzzled, so checking his clipboard again, he looks up and says: “You not Nissan Maindealer?”
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4295 on: October 05, 2017, 12:35:05 AM »
Groan   noooo:    lol:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4296 on: October 05, 2017, 03:06:19 AM »
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement when the Japanese man starts to yell louder. “You sign! You sign!” Nelson says to him, “Look mate, you’ve obviously got the wrong bloke. Get lost!.” and shuts the door in the Japanese man’s face.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Japanese man is back, with a huge truck full of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson’s nose, yelling “You sign! You sign!” Mr. Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Japanese man back, shouting: “Look, get lost!! You’ve got the wrong bloke! I don’t want them!” then slams the door in the Japanese man’s face again.
The following day Nelson is resting, when he hears a knock on the door again. After opening the door, the little Japanese man thrusts the same clipboard under his nose, shouting “You sign! You sign!”. Behind him are TWO large trucks full of wing mirrors. Nelson loses his temper completely, picks the little man up by his shirt front and yells at him: “Look, I don’t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong man! Who is it, you want to give all these car parts to?” The little Japanese man is a bit puzzled, so checking his clipboard again, he looks up and says: “You not Nissan Maindealer?”

Fresh? There are moths in Apey's wallet that are younger than that joke...  noooo:
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4297 on: October 06, 2017, 07:17:14 PM »
Well I've just been given some financial good news, it seem's the African lad I was sponsoring has been eaten by a lion
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4298 on: October 08, 2017, 01:49:37 PM »
Barry gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the f*ck have you been"?
Barry replies "I was out getting a Tattoo",
"A Tattoo"? she frowned. "What kind of Tattoo did you get"?
"I got a Tattoo of a £50 pound note on my Knob" he said proudly.
"What the Hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on Earth would you get a £50 pound note Tattooed on your Knob"?
"Well, 4 Reasons - One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and Blow £50 quid anytime you want."
If you wish to visit.
Barry is in the Royal London Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4299 on: October 09, 2017, 07:47:57 AM »
New variation, old theme:

I am Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu the chairman
of ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC). EFCC in
alliance with economic community of West African states
(ECOWAS) with head Office here in Nigeria. We have been
working towards the eradication of fraudsters and scam
Artists in Western part of Africa With the help of United
States Government and the United Nations and some corrupt
official adminstrators Mr Ibrahim Lamorde has been sacked
who happen to be the former EFCC chairman.

We have been able to track down so many
of this scam artist in various parts of west African
countries which includes (NIGERIA, REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO,
GHANA CAMEROUN AND SENEGAL) and they are all in our custody
here in Lagos Nigeria.

We have been able to recover so much
money from these scam artists. The United Nation Anti-crime
commission and the United State Government have ordered the
money recovered from the Scammers to be shared among 100
Lucky people around the globe.

This email is being directed to you
because your email address was found in one of the scam
Artists file and computer hard disk in our custody here in
Nigeria and with the information gartered from this Scam
artist, you notice that you have been scammed of so much
money and have decided to compensate you with a little token
to recover the lost of your fund. You are therefore being
compensated with the total sum $ 3.5 Million Dollars. We have
also arrested all those who claim that they are barristers,
bank officials, Inheritance, Lottery Agents who has money for transfer or
want you to be the next of kin of such funds which does not
exist.

Since your name appeared among the
lucky beneficiaries who will receive a compensation of
US $ 3.5 Million, we have made arrangement to register an
Online Banking through our Global Bank, where you will have
full access to your Online Banking Account Fund, to transfer
your fund personally to your Private Bank Account with no
complication of things or questioning as the Account will be
fully registered in your Name.

Feel free to contact the processing
officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. The online Banking Processing
It is made much easier for you to transfer your fund to your
private Bank Account personally, to avoid any delay or
complication of things. With this Online Banking Transfer
Processing, you can only transfer the Maximum Amount of
US $ 500.000.00 daily / install mentally until the total amount
of your Compensated / deposited fund is transferred and
completely paid to you and also if you choose to recieve your
payment VIA ATM CARD its is still accepted so you get back to him
with your choice of payment.

So you are advice to contact,
processing officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. with your provided
information? required for verification below.

CONTACT PERSON: MR SAMUEL JAMES.
CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS: samueljames3055@gmail.com
CELL PHONE: +2349074037062

Provide the information below to enable
the processing of your Online Banking Account for deposition
of your total compensated fund.

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2) YOUR ADDRESS.
3) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.
4) YOUR OCCUPATION
5) YOUR IDENTITY.
6) COUNTRY

Contact MR SAMUEL JAMES. with the
information required for verification to enable him start
the processing of your Online Banking Account
Registration.

We guarantee your safety and wish you
the best of luck.

Best Regard,
Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu
CHAIRMAN ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME
COMMISSION
(EFCC) FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPT,
LAGOS-NIGERIA
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4300 on: October 09, 2017, 07:50:06 AM »
New variation, old theme:

I am Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu the chairman
of ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC). EFCC in
alliance with economic community of West African states
(ECOWAS) with head Office here in Nigeria. We have been
working towards the eradication of fraudsters and scam
Artists in Western part of Africa With the help of United
States Government and the United Nations and some corrupt
official adminstrators Mr Ibrahim Lamorde has been sacked
who happen to be the former EFCC chairman.

We have been able to track down so many
of this scam artist in various parts of west African
countries which includes (NIGERIA, REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO,
GHANA CAMEROUN AND SENEGAL) and they are all in our custody
here in Lagos Nigeria.

We have been able to recover so much
money from these scam artists. The United Nation Anti-crime
commission and the United State Government have ordered the
money recovered from the Scammers to be shared among 100
Lucky people around the globe.

This email is being directed to you
because your email address was found in one of the scam
Artists file and computer hard disk in our custody here in
Nigeria and with the information gartered from this Scam
artist, you notice that you have been scammed of so much
money and have decided to compensate you with a little token
to recover the lost of your fund. You are therefore being
compensated with the total sum $ 3.5 Million Dollars. We have
also arrested all those who claim that they are barristers,
bank officials, Inheritance, Lottery Agents who has money for transfer or
want you to be the next of kin of such funds which does not
exist.

Since your name appeared among the
lucky beneficiaries who will receive a compensation of
US $ 3.5 Million, we have made arrangement to register an
Online Banking through our Global Bank, where you will have
full access to your Online Banking Account Fund, to transfer
your fund personally to your Private Bank Account with no
complication of things or questioning as the Account will be
fully registered in your Name.

Feel free to contact the processing
officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. The online Banking Processing
It is made much easier for you to transfer your fund to your
private Bank Account personally, to avoid any delay or
complication of things. With this Online Banking Transfer
Processing, you can only transfer the Maximum Amount of
US $ 500.000.00 daily / install mentally until the total amount
of your Compensated / deposited fund is transferred and
completely paid to you and also if you choose to recieve your
payment VIA ATM CARD its is still accepted so you get back to him
with your choice of payment.

So you are advice to contact,
processing officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. with your provided
information? required for verification below.

CONTACT PERSON: MR SAMUEL JAMES.
CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS: samueljames3055@gmail.com
CELL PHONE: +2349074037062

Provide the information below to enable
the processing of your Online Banking Account for deposition
of your total compensated fund.

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2) YOUR ADDRESS.
3) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.
4) YOUR OCCUPATION
5) YOUR IDENTITY.
6) COUNTRY

Contact MR SAMUEL JAMES. with the
information required for verification to enable him start
the processing of your Online Banking Account
Registration.

We guarantee your safety and wish you
the best of luck.

Best Regard,
Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu
CHAIRMAN ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME
COMMISSION
(EFCC) FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPT,
LAGOS-NIGERIA

 lol: lol: lol:

Nice one!  :thumbsup:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4301 on: October 09, 2017, 08:46:19 AM »
New variation, old theme:

I am Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu the chairman
of ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC). EFCC in
alliance with economic community of West African states
(ECOWAS) with head Office here in Nigeria. We have been
working towards the eradication of fraudsters and scam
Artists in Western part of Africa With the help of United
States Government and the United Nations and some corrupt
official adminstrators Mr Ibrahim Lamorde has been sacked
who happen to be the former EFCC chairman.

We have been able to track down so many
of this scam artist in various parts of west African
countries which includes (NIGERIA, REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO,
GHANA CAMEROUN AND SENEGAL) and they are all in our custody
here in Lagos Nigeria.

We have been able to recover so much
money from these scam artists. The United Nation Anti-crime
commission and the United State Government have ordered the
money recovered from the Scammers to be shared among 100
Lucky people around the globe.

This email is being directed to you
because your email address was found in one of the scam
Artists file and computer hard disk in our custody here in
Nigeria and with the information gartered from this Scam
artist, you notice that you have been scammed of so much
money and have decided to compensate you with a little token
to recover the lost of your fund. You are therefore being
compensated with the total sum $ 3.5 Million Dollars. We have
also arrested all those who claim that they are barristers,
bank officials, Inheritance, Lottery Agents who has money for transfer or
want you to be the next of kin of such funds which does not
exist.

Since your name appeared among the
lucky beneficiaries who will receive a compensation of
US $ 3.5 Million, we have made arrangement to register an
Online Banking through our Global Bank, where you will have
full access to your Online Banking Account Fund, to transfer
your fund personally to your Private Bank Account with no
complication of things or questioning as the Account will be
fully registered in your Name.

Feel free to contact the processing
officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. The online Banking Processing
It is made much easier for you to transfer your fund to your
private Bank Account personally, to avoid any delay or
complication of things. With this Online Banking Transfer
Processing, you can only transfer the Maximum Amount of
US $ 500.000.00 daily / install mentally until the total amount
of your Compensated / deposited fund is transferred and
completely paid to you and also if you choose to recieve your
payment VIA ATM CARD its is still accepted so you get back to him
with your choice of payment.

So you are advice to contact,
processing officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. with your provided
information? required for verification below.

CONTACT PERSON: MR SAMUEL JAMES.
CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS: samueljames3055@gmail.com
CELL PHONE: +2349074037062

Provide the information below to enable
the processing of your Online Banking Account for deposition
of your total compensated fund.

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2) YOUR ADDRESS.
3) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.
4) YOUR OCCUPATION
5) YOUR IDENTITY.
6) COUNTRY

Contact MR SAMUEL JAMES. with the
information required for verification to enable him start
the processing of your Online Banking Account
Registration.

We guarantee your safety and wish you
the best of luck.

Best Regard,
Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu
CHAIRMAN ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME
COMMISSION
(EFCC) FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPT,
LAGOS-NIGERIA

 lol: lol: lol:

Nice one!  :thumbsup:
"install mentally"  happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4302 on: October 09, 2017, 08:54:01 AM »
New variation, old theme:

I am Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu the chairman
of ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC). EFCC in
alliance with economic community of West African states
(ECOWAS) with head Office here in Nigeria. We have been
working towards the eradication of fraudsters and scam
Artists in Western part of Africa With the help of United
States Government and the United Nations and some corrupt
official adminstrators Mr Ibrahim Lamorde has been sacked
who happen to be the former EFCC chairman.

We have been able to track down so many
of this scam artist in various parts of west African
countries which includes (NIGERIA, REPUBLIC OF BENIN, TOGO,
GHANA CAMEROUN AND SENEGAL) and they are all in our custody
here in Lagos Nigeria.

We have been able to recover so much
money from these scam artists. The United Nation Anti-crime
commission and the United State Government have ordered the
money recovered from the Scammers to be shared among 100
Lucky people around the globe.

This email is being directed to you
because your email address was found in one of the scam
Artists file and computer hard disk in our custody here in
Nigeria and with the information gartered from this Scam
artist, you notice that you have been scammed of so much
money and have decided to compensate you with a little token
to recover the lost of your fund. You are therefore being
compensated with the total sum $ 3.5 Million Dollars. We have
also arrested all those who claim that they are barristers,
bank officials, Inheritance, Lottery Agents who has money for transfer or
want you to be the next of kin of such funds which does not
exist.

Since your name appeared among the
lucky beneficiaries who will receive a compensation of
US $ 3.5 Million, we have made arrangement to register an
Online Banking through our Global Bank, where you will have
full access to your Online Banking Account Fund, to transfer
your fund personally to your Private Bank Account with no
complication of things or questioning as the Account will be
fully registered in your Name.

Feel free to contact the processing
officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. The online Banking Processing
It is made much easier for you to transfer your fund to your
private Bank Account personally, to avoid any delay or
complication of things. With this Online Banking Transfer
Processing, you can only transfer the Maximum Amount of
US $ 500.000.00 daily / install mentally until the total amount
of your Compensated / deposited fund is transferred and
completely paid to you and also if you choose to recieve your
payment VIA ATM CARD its is still accepted so you get back to him
with your choice of payment.

So you are advice to contact,
processing officer MR SAMUEL JAMES. with your provided
information? required for verification below.

CONTACT PERSON: MR SAMUEL JAMES.
CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS: samueljames3055@gmail.com
CELL PHONE: +2349074037062

Provide the information below to enable
the processing of your Online Banking Account for deposition
of your total compensated fund.

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2) YOUR ADDRESS.
3) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.
4) YOUR OCCUPATION
5) YOUR IDENTITY.
6) COUNTRY

Contact MR SAMUEL JAMES. with the
information required for verification to enable him start
the processing of your Online Banking Account
Registration.

We guarantee your safety and wish you
the best of luck.

Best Regard,
Mr. Ibrahim Mustafa Magu
CHAIRMAN ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIME
COMMISSION
(EFCC) FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPT,
LAGOS-NIGERIA

 lol: lol: lol:

Nice one!  :thumbsup:
"install mentally"  happy001
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4303 on: October 10, 2017, 08:38:50 AM »
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

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Well, whatever, nevermind