Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 

To pass on to Miss A or not...? 

[Steve]

Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 

To pass on to Miss A or not...? 

Of course

A confession though, as original seen it was a Wolves and Baggies joke so I edited it somewhat 

[Steve]

Sometimes it really pays to think logically....here’s a good example.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

[Barman]

Sometimes it really pays to think logically....here’s a good example.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle,
bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

 

[Steve]

"Father, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?”

Pastor replied,

“No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.

The man answered”

“Father, but do you think they will accept a donation of £50,000 in return for the burial service?”

Pastor exclaimed,

“Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t you tell me that dog was a Catholic.”

[Tipsy Gipsy]

Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Arsenal fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" . "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an Arsenal fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Spurs fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Spurs fan?"
"Because my mum is a Spurs fan, and my dad is a Spurs fan, so I'm a Spurs fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Spurs fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a disease riddled prostitute and your dad was an inbred drug addict, what would you be then?"
'Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Arsenal fan".

 

To pass on to Miss A or not...? 

Of course

A confession though, as original seen it was a Wolves and Baggies joke so I edited it somewhat 

Ah, now it makes sense.   

[apc2010]

"Father, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?”

Pastor replied,

“No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.

The man answered”

“Father, but do you think they will accept a donation of £50,000 in return for the burial service?”

Pastor exclaimed,

“Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t you tell me that dog was a Catholic.”

 

[Steve]

Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.

[Barman]

Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.

  

[Darwins Selection]

Q): What's the difference between a bit of Snow and a Llama..???

*

*

A): The British Press and Media, don't know how to Milk a Llama.

  

[The Moan Ranger]

Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

[Barman]

Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

[Steve]

Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

I'm sure they'd love to see SmugLand





via Instagram

[Uncle Mort]

Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

 

[Barman]

Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon.
So far we have..

Barbados 10/1
Venice 15/1
Seychelles 20/1
New York 25/1
Paris 1,000,000/1
Balmoral 50/1
Rome 100/1

H/T Caustic Bob

 

Paris Uncle, Lady Di...