Paddy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
Well, I can think of one thing," said Paddy.
Once, on my way to the pub, I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll kick the living daylights out of the lot of ya!"
St. Peter was impressed, " And when did this happen?"
Paddy replied"About a couple of minutes ago."!!!