Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 788857 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4860 on: February 02, 2019, 10:03:08 PM »
With the conditions being as awful as they are, I thought I’d visit my 90 year old neighbour and ask if she needed anything from the shop.

Turns out she did, so I gave her my list too, no point in both of us going out in this weather.
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4861 on: February 03, 2019, 04:05:16 PM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4862 on: February 03, 2019, 04:09:28 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4863 on: February 03, 2019, 04:11:12 PM »
 :thumbsup:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4864 on: February 03, 2019, 11:40:26 PM »
The girlfriend decided that we should try role play to spice up our sex life, she bought herself a Nurse's uniform and bought me a white coat and stethoscope so we could play Doctors and Nurses.

20 minutes in, I was just getting warmed up and had diagnosed halitosis, piles, flatulence, a lazy eye and excessive facial hair when she seemed to go off the idea?
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4865 on: February 04, 2019, 06:32:13 AM »
The girlfriend decided that we should try role play to spice up our sex life, she bought herself a Nurse's uniform and bought me a white coat and stethoscope so we could play Doctors and Nurses.

20 minutes in, I was just getting warmed up and had diagnosed halitosis, piles, flatulence, a lazy eye and excessive facial hair when she seemed to go off the idea?

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4866 on: February 04, 2019, 11:49:06 AM »
The girlfriend decided that we should try role play to spice up our sex life, she bought herself a Nurse's uniform and bought me a white coat and stethoscope so we could play Doctors and Nurses.

20 minutes in, I was just getting warmed up and had diagnosed halitosis, piles, flatulence, a lazy eye and excessive facial hair when she seemed to go off the idea?

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4867 on: February 05, 2019, 11:07:12 AM »
The girlfriend decided that we should try role play to spice up our sex life, she bought herself a Nurse's uniform and bought me a white coat and stethoscope so we could play Doctors and Nurses.

20 minutes in, I was just getting warmed up and had diagnosed halitosis, piles, flatulence, a lazy eye and excessive facial hair when she seemed to go off the idea?

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4868 on: February 07, 2019, 09:05:53 PM »
A lady came into the pharmacy today and asked if we sold extra large condoms...
I said, "We do would you like to buy some"...?
She replied, "No, but do you mind if I stand here until somebody does"...?
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4869 on: February 07, 2019, 09:10:17 PM »
A lady came into the pharmacy today and asked if we sold extra large condoms...
I said, "We do would you like to buy some"...?
She replied, "No, but do you mind if I stand here until somebody does"...?
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4870 on: February 08, 2019, 05:06:09 AM »
A lady came into the pharmacy today and asked if we sold extra large condoms...
I said, "We do would you like to buy some"...?
She replied, "No, but do you mind if I stand here until somebody does"...?
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4871 on: February 08, 2019, 03:40:18 PM »
I'm not sure if this is a scam or not...  rubschin:

I just got a text saying I had won €250 or two tickets to an Elvis tribute concert!

It says, "Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show"

 redface: redface: redface:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4872 on: February 08, 2019, 03:48:06 PM »
I'm not sure if this is a scam or not...  rubschin:

I just got a text saying I had won €250 or two tickets to an Elvis tribute concert!

It says, "Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show"

 redface: redface: redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4873 on: February 09, 2019, 08:16:16 AM »
A newlywed couple from England spend their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. While his new bride is unpacking in their honeymoon suite, the young groom goes out of the Hotel to find a suitable restaurant for their evening meal. He finds a suitable place and across the street he sees an unusual shop sign: "Chief Bald Eagle, Memory Man - He Knows Everything".
Intrigued, he pays his dollar, goes in and asks Chief Bald Eagle "who won the first English FA Cup Final football match?". The Chief draws thoughtfully on his pipe and says "Wanderers v Royal Engineers, 1872 - Wanderers win one-nil". Stunned, the groom returns to his new bride and bores her all evening with how amazing this Chief Bald Eagle is.
Twenty-five years later, they go back to celebrate their anniversary and to the groom's astonishment, amid radical changes to the rest of the area, Chief Bald Eagle is still there in the same shop. He pays his ten dollars, goes in and respectfully greets the old Chief with a raised hand and the word "How". The old Chief squints at him through a wreath of pipe smoke and says "From a corner".

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4874 on: February 09, 2019, 08:42:33 AM »
A newlywed couple from England spend their honeymoon at Niagara Falls. While his new bride is unpacking in their honeymoon suite, the young groom goes out of the Hotel to find a suitable restaurant for their evening meal. He finds a suitable place and across the street he sees an unusual shop sign: "Chief Bald Eagle, Memory Man - He Knows Everything".
Intrigued, he pays his dollar, goes in and asks Chief Bald Eagle "who won the first English FA Cup Final football match?". The Chief draws thoughtfully on his pipe and says "Wanderers v Royal Engineers, 1872 - Wanderers win one-nil". Stunned, the groom returns to his new bride and bores her all evening with how amazing this Chief Bald Eagle is.
Twenty-five years later, they go back to celebrate their anniversary and to the groom's astonishment, amid radical changes to the rest of the area, Chief Bald Eagle is still there in the same shop. He pays his ten dollars, goes in and respectfully greets the old Chief with a raised hand and the word "How". The old Chief squints at him through a wreath of pipe smoke and says "From a corner".

happy001
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