Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

 

 

[Steve]

Mother Christmas

"Where art thou, Mother Christmas?
I only wish I knew
Why Father should get all the praise
And no one mentions you.

I'll bet you buy the presents
And wrap them large and small
While all the time that rotten swine
Pretends he's done it all.

So Hail To Mother Christmas
Who shoulders all the work!
And down with Father Christmas,
That unmitigated jerk!"

Roald Dahl  1988 for Great Ormond Street Hospital.

[Nick]

https://www.facebook.com/michael.kozak.16/videos/775487984733/?t=56

[Barman]

https://www.facebook.com/michael.kozak.16/videos/775487984733/?t=56

  and also AFFS I think... 

[Just One More]

Whilst traveling to work on the bus yesterday I was most annoyed when a man boarded the bus, sat next to an old lady and then proceeded to masturbate furiously.

I thought to myself "I'm not having that ", so I challenged him. Unfortunately, I lost as he reached his climax a good 10 seconds before I was able to reach mine.

[Barman]

Whilst traveling to work on the bus yesterday I was most annoyed when a man boarded the bus, sat next to an old lady and then proceeded to masturbate furiously.

I thought to myself "I'm not having that ", so I challenged him. Unfortunately, I lost as he reached his climax a good 10 seconds before I was able to reach mine.

   

[apc2010]

I went outside this morning & found my neighbour Muhammad lying face down in the snow with a knife stuck in his back...

I ran back inside & shouted to my wife "quick come & see what's happened!"......



"What is it?" She said......




"You'll not believe this, it's been fucking snowing!"...............

[Barman]

I went outside this morning & found my neighbour Muhammad lying face down in the snow with a knife stuck in his back...

I ran back inside & shouted to my wife "quick come & see what's happened!"......



"What is it?" She said......




"You'll not believe this, it's been fucking snowing!"...............

 

[apc2010]

I said to miss T, "I was just disgusted when I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son"...



She said, "All of you blokes are the same, it's just natural"..........





I replied, "I don't know what's so fucking natural about it........?


She was feeding him Quavers"........

[Barman]

I said to miss T, "I was just disgusted when I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son"...



She said, "All of you blokes are the same, it's just natural"..........





I replied, "I don't know what's so fucking natural about it........?


She was feeding him Quavers"........

 

[Just One More]

I went outside this morning & found my neighbour Muhammad lying face down in the snow with a knife stuck in his back...

I ran back inside & shouted to my wife "quick come & see what's happened!"......



"What is it?" She said......




"You'll not believe this, it's been fucking snowing!"...............

 

[Just One More]

I said to miss T, "I was just disgusted when I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son"...



She said, "All of you blokes are the same, it's just natural"..........





I replied, "I don't know what's so fucking natural about it........?


She was feeding him Quavers"........

 

[Steve]

I said to miss T, "I was just disgusted when I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son"...



She said, "All of you blokes are the same, it's just natural"..........





I replied, "I don't know what's so fucking natural about it........?


She was feeding him Quavers"........

 

[Steve]

Heard a Dr. on TV say to have inner peace we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished,

so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns,
an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two al hve a Marry Crispmouse!

[apc2010]

Heard a Dr. on TV say to have inner peace we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished,

so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns,
an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two al hve a Marry Crispmouse!