Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 792652 times)

0 Members and 18 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5730 on: March 17, 2020, 06:22:54 PM »
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France; otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
lol:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5731 on: March 17, 2020, 07:15:10 PM »
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France; otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
lol:

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5732 on: March 18, 2020, 11:23:01 PM »




 rubschin:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64173
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5733 on: March 19, 2020, 12:48:27 AM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154186
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64173
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5736 on: March 20, 2020, 01:15:18 PM »
I’ve always thought I will discover my inner self through some eastern philosophies,
not because of a stupid single-ply toilet paper from Aldi!
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154186
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5737 on: March 20, 2020, 01:19:53 PM »
I’ve always thought I will discover my inner self through some eastern philosophies,
not because of a stupid single-ply toilet paper from Aldi!

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109304
  • Reputation: -115
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154186
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:


Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5741 on: March 21, 2020, 01:27:45 AM »
A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes.

When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed.

So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine.

While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.

He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time.

The next thing he know it was 4:00 AM.

“Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!” he exclaimed.

“Quick give me some talcum powder!”

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands.

When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious.

“Where the hell have you been" !!

He says, “Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her.”

“Let me see your hands!” she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands....




“Damn liar, you were out bowling again ......................!!!!! 

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154186
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5742 on: March 21, 2020, 05:28:23 AM »
A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes.

When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed.

So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine.

While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.

He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time.

The next thing he know it was 4:00 AM.

“Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!” he exclaimed.

“Quick give me some talcum powder!”

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands.

When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious.

“Where the hell have you been" !!

He says, “Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her.”

“Let me see your hands!” she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands....




“Damn liar, you were out bowling again ......................!!!!!

 lol: lol: lol:

I'm sure it was golf the last time...  rubschin:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5743 on: March 21, 2020, 08:41:06 AM »
Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but I've been told there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Any advice would be helpful, many thanks..................... Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 26767
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5744 on: March 21, 2020, 09:16:44 AM »
A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes.

When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed.

So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine.

While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.

He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time.

The next thing he know it was 4:00 AM.

“Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!” he exclaimed.

“Quick give me some talcum powder!”

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands.

When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious.

“Where the hell have you been" !!

He says, “Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her.”

“Let me see your hands!” she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands....




“Damn liar, you were out bowling again ......................!!!!!

 lol: lol: lol:

I'm sure it was golf the last time...  rubschin:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie