Fresh from the Inbox

[Just One More]

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: £1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: £2.50 HAND JOB: £10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am.
"The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

 

[Barman]

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: £1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: £2.50 HAND JOB: £10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am.
"The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."

 

[Barman]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

[Steve]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

[apc2010]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

AFFS ... but with TV ,.....

[Barman]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

AFFS ... but with TV ,.....

Not AFFS then... 

[apc2010]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

AFFS ... but with TV ,.....

Not AFFS then... 

 

Good point ..well made .....

But bollox still AFFS .......

[Steve]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

AFFS ... but with TV ,.....

Not AFFS then... 

 

Good point ..well made .....

But bollox still AFFS .......

[Barman]

I saw an advert on-line that said, "Radio for sale. Only £2 but volume stuck on full".

I thought, "I can't turn that down".

AFFS ... but with TV ,.....

Not AFFS then... 

 

Good point ..well made .....

But bollox still AFFS .......

 

[apc2010]

This bloody lockdown is getting to me now........



When I see a nurse in a porno,




I stand and clap before I masturbate............

[Steve]

 

[apc2010]

So this bloke walks into a pub and the barman says "Good evening sir, what can I get you to drink?"

The guy replies "A pint of bitter please". The barman pours the drink and asks for £3.60.

The man refuses to pay saying "You asked me what you could get me to drink and that constitutes an offer of a free drink".

The barman angrily replies "Now don't start messing me about. £3.60 please!"

With that another guy sat at the bar says to the barman, "Look, I don't want to interfere but I am a lawyer and your wording of what can I get you to drink could in law be taken as an offer of a free drink".

So the barman says to the customer "Enjoy your free pint then but don't you ever try that on with me again".

Well, the next night, the same guy goes into the same pub with the same barman.

The barman says "I'm ready for you pal". The bloke asks ""What are you talking about?"

The guy behind the bar says "You were in here last night conning me out of a free pint".

The punter replies "I don't think so. I've never been in this pub before in my life".

The barman sighs and says "Well, you must have a double then" to which the guy answers,





"Thank you very much, I'll have a whisky!"............

[Just One More]

So this bloke walks into a pub and the barman says "Good evening sir, what can I get you to drink?"

The guy replies "A pint of bitter please". The barman pours the drink and asks for £3.60.

The man refuses to pay saying "You asked me what you could get me to drink and that constitutes an offer of a free drink".

The barman angrily replies "Now don't start messing me about. £3.60 please!"

With that another guy sat at the bar says to the barman, "Look, I don't want to interfere but I am a lawyer and your wording of what can I get you to drink could in law be taken as an offer of a free drink".

So the barman says to the customer "Enjoy your free pint then but don't you ever try that on with me again".

Well, the next night, the same guy goes into the same pub with the same barman.

The barman says "I'm ready for you pal". The bloke asks ""What are you talking about?"

The guy behind the bar says "You were in here last night conning me out of a free pint".

The punter replies "I don't think so. I've never been in this pub before in my life".

The barman sighs and says "Well, you must have a double then" to which the guy answers,





"Thank you very much, I'll have a whisky!"............

 

[Darwins Selection]

So this bloke walks into a pub and the barman says "Good evening sir, what can I get you to drink?"

The guy replies "A pint of bitter please". The barman pours the drink and asks for £3.60.

The man refuses to pay saying "You asked me what you could get me to drink and that constitutes an offer of a free drink".

The barman angrily replies "Now don't start messing me about. £3.60 please!"

With that another guy sat at the bar says to the barman, "Look, I don't want to interfere but I am a lawyer and your wording of what can I get you to drink could in law be taken as an offer of a free drink".

So the barman says to the customer "Enjoy your free pint then but don't you ever try that on with me again".

Well, the next night, the same guy goes into the same pub with the same barman.

The barman says "I'm ready for you pal". The bloke asks ""What are you talking about?"

The guy behind the bar says "You were in here last night conning me out of a free pint".

The punter replies "I don't think so. I've never been in this pub before in my life".

The barman sighs and says "Well, you must have a double then" to which the guy answers,





"Thank you very much, I'll have a whisky!"............

 

[Barman]

So this bloke walks into a pub and the barman says "Good evening sir, what can I get you to drink?"

The guy replies "A pint of bitter please". The barman pours the drink and asks for £3.60.

The man refuses to pay saying "You asked me what you could get me to drink and that constitutes an offer of a free drink".

The barman angrily replies "Now don't start messing me about. £3.60 please!"

With that another guy sat at the bar says to the barman, "Look, I don't want to interfere but I am a lawyer and your wording of what can I get you to drink could in law be taken as an offer of a free drink".

So the barman says to the customer "Enjoy your free pint then but don't you ever try that on with me again".

Well, the next night, the same guy goes into the same pub with the same barman.

The barman says "I'm ready for you pal". The bloke asks ""What are you talking about?"

The guy behind the bar says "You were in here last night conning me out of a free pint".

The punter replies "I don't think so. I've never been in this pub before in my life".

The barman sighs and says "Well, you must have a double then" to which the guy answers,





"Thank you very much, I'll have a whisky!"............