Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 792939 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6075 on: June 20, 2020, 04:16:14 PM »
https://twitter.com/RadishRave/status/1273551336588656641

BREAKING: work on Boris Johnson's tail fin nears completion.

Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6076 on: June 21, 2020, 06:45:04 AM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6077 on: June 21, 2020, 08:25:41 PM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6078 on: June 22, 2020, 03:46:12 AM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6079 on: June 22, 2020, 03:48:31 AM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)

 Thumbs: redface:   cussing:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6080 on: June 22, 2020, 05:04:03 AM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)

 Thumbs: redface:   cussing:

I didn't think it was The Inner London Education Authority... ::)
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6081 on: June 22, 2020, 06:07:07 AM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)

 Thumbs: redface:   cussing:

I didn't think it was The Inner London Education Authority... ::)

Me too  Banghead
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6082 on: June 22, 2020, 08:25:11 AM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)

 Thumbs: redface:   cussing:

I didn't think it was The Inner London Education Authority... ::)

Me too  Banghead
ditto

Who'd think the ILEA would sponsor schools, do get real Apey
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6083 on: June 22, 2020, 11:18:13 AM »
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5lbs as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10lbs program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10lbs as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25 lbs program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

 shocked003
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6084 on: June 22, 2020, 12:49:41 PM »
ILEA are sponsoring schools now ......... Thumbs:


Assembly ..now takes hours ......... noooo:

IKEA...? ::)

 Thumbs: redface:   cussing:

I didn't think it was The Inner London Education Authority... ::)

Me too  Banghead
ditto

Who'd think the ILEA would sponsor schools, do get real Apey

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6085 on: June 24, 2020, 07:56:15 AM »
I got a decorator in on Monday. We chatted for a while and it turned out he was an Airline Pilot on furlough...


...But I have to admit, he made a great job of the landing.
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6086 on: June 24, 2020, 08:09:45 AM »
I got a decorator in on Monday. We chatted for a while and it turned out he was an Airline Pilot on furlough...


...But I have to admit, he made a great job of the landing.

AFFS....... rubschin:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6087 on: June 25, 2020, 10:47:48 AM »
Affs?


Went to my local chip shop and asked for fish and chips.
The man behind the counter slapped the fish 5 times before bagging it for me.
Confused I asked him why he did that.
He told me that the fish tastes better if you slap it before serving.
I thought what a load of old cods wallop.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6088 on: June 25, 2020, 10:52:22 AM »
Affs?


Went to my local chip shop and asked for fish and chips.
The man behind the counter slapped the fish 5 times before bagging it for me.
Confused I asked him why he did that.
He told me that the fish tastes better if you slap it before serving.
I thought what a load of old cods wallop.

 ;D
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #6089 on: June 25, 2020, 06:40:43 PM »
It's now a 3 way race on here for who has the worst dad jokes, Steve, Apey or Baldymort...  rubschin:
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.