Fresh from the Inbox

[Steve]

Speech Therapy.
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group.
She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said 'If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first'?
The Englishman piped up. 'B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham', he said. 'That's no use, Trevor' said the speech therapist, 'Who's next'?
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out 'P-p- p-p-p-p-p-p-p- aisley'. 'That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish. How about you, Paddy'?
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out ' London ' .
'Brilliant, Paddy' said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said '-d-d-d-d- d-d-d-d-erry'.

[Barman]

Speech Therapy.
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group.
She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said 'If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first'?
The Englishman piped up. 'B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham', he said. 'That's no use, Trevor' said the speech therapist, 'Who's next'?
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out 'P-p- p-p-p-p-p-p-p- aisley'. 'That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish. How about you, Paddy'?
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out ' London ' .
'Brilliant, Paddy' said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said '-d-d-d-d- d-d-d-d-erry'.

 

[Just One More]

Speech Therapy.
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group.
She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said 'If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first'?
The Englishman piped up. 'B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham', he said. 'That's no use, Trevor' said the speech therapist, 'Who's next'?
The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out 'P-p- p-p-p-p-p-p-p- aisley'. 'That's no better. There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish. How about you, Paddy'?
The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out ' London ' .
'Brilliant, Paddy' said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.
After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said '-d-d-d-d- d-d-d-d-erry'.

 

 

[Barman]

[Steve]

 

[apc2010]

1x2 ..3x4 etc ...

[Steve]

1x2 ..3x4 etc ...

No shit sherlock who'd ever have guessed

[Grumpmeister]

1x2 ..3x4 etc ...

No shit sherlock who'd ever have guessed

To be fair, Apey is probably a master of cracking wifi passwords.. 

[Just One More]

It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it all melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes. 

[Barman]

It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from CBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it all melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes. 

 

[apc2010]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar .....



You can't tell me that a coincidence ........

[Barman]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar .....



You can't tell me that a coincidence ........

 

[Just One More]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar .....



You can't tell me that a coincidence ........

 

 

[Steve]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar .....



You can't tell me that a coincidence ........

 

 

[Darwins Selection]

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar .....



You can't tell me that a coincidence ........