Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge.
The first lady says, “You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But don’t worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will. We have been friends for too long.”
The second lady says, “Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don’t worry, I have not hit on your husbands. We have been friends for too long.”
“Well,” says the third lady, “I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship.”
The fourth lady stands up, says, “I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!”