Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 788778 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7020 on: July 09, 2023, 10:37:52 AM »
If I see an Apple Store being robbed, does that make me an iWitness...?  rubschin:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7021 on: July 09, 2023, 11:00:04 AM »
If I had a Pound for every gender I'd have two quid... 🤣
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7022 on: July 09, 2023, 05:02:13 PM »
A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7023 on: July 10, 2023, 11:10:02 PM »
On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, "Today we're creating a place called Canada.
"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."

"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to these Canadians?"

"Don't worry, I'll balance it out," said God. "Wait 'till you see the neighbours I'm giving them."
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7024 on: July 13, 2023, 06:24:10 PM »
A big fight at a Gypsy Wedding in Ireland goes to Court,
And the Judge says -
"Can anyone explain what Happened"..???
Paddy says "I can your Honour."
"Cos, I was the Best Man and I was Dancing with the Bride."
"We were Dancing quite close when the Groom stormed up."
"And kicked the Bride, right in the Fanny".
"I See," says the Judge, "Well. That must've Hurt"..???
"Bloody Right." says Paddy.

"He broke 3 of me fooking Fingers."
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7025 on: July 16, 2023, 07:08:34 AM »
I’m so dull that when I was drowning someone else’s life flashed before my eyes...
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7026 on: July 28, 2023, 08:21:40 PM »
Housework is women's work???
Well... one evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer
and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set.
She was astonished --something's up.
It turns out that Jimmy had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and also had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.
The night went well; the next day, she told her office friends about it.
"We had a great dinner. Jimmy even cleaned up.
He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry, and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But, what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect, too. Jimmy was too tired..."
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7027 on: July 28, 2023, 08:36:30 PM »
Housework is women's work???
Well... one evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer
and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set.
She was astonished --something's up.
It turns out that Jimmy had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and also had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.
The night went well; the next day, she told her office friends about it.
"We had a great dinner. Jimmy even cleaned up.
He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry, and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But, what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect, too. Jimmy was too tired..."

 lol: lol: lol:
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7028 on: August 01, 2023, 07:01:10 PM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7029 on: August 02, 2023, 06:46:58 PM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7030 on: August 05, 2023, 02:52:25 PM »
A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with another man.
He takes out his gun and says to the other man:
"If you want my wife come to take her from me like a man.
I challenge you to a duel."
The other man accepts his challenge and they go into the other room and close the door.
The husband then tells the other man:
"Actually, nobody has to get hurt ...
Let’s shoot into the air and pretend like we are both dead.
And then we will see who my wife will go to firstly, and thus who she loves more!"
So they both fire their guns into the air and lay on the ground.
The woman runs into the room and sees both men on the ground and shouts:
"Honey, you can come out now, they’re both dead!"
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7031 on: August 07, 2023, 05:12:40 PM »
 Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10p.”
They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you!  What'll it be, gentlemen?" There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis—shaken, not stirred—and says, "That'll be 10p each, please." The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40p, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender saying, "That's 40p, please." They pay the 40p, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent £1 yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for 10p a piece?"
"I'm a retired tailor," the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs 10p. wine, liquor, beer—it's all the same." "Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of
the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says, "They're retired people from Yorkshire.
They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7032 on: August 15, 2023, 09:44:48 AM »





Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7033 on: August 15, 2023, 10:00:07 AM »
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Online Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #7034 on: August 15, 2023, 09:20:40 PM »


Well, whatever, nevermind