Are you born clumsy ?

[The Moan Ranger]

DS is right - always sniff; your nose will tell you a damn sight more than any sell by/use by dates.

[Nick]

A very helpful thread. I sniff

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

As far as I can recall I have always been clumsy.

[Darwins Selection]

As far as I can recall I have always been clumsy.

I expect it is just your buttery fingers from all that cake-making. 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Right now I have two self made disaster areas in da house and one under da house.

1. Under extending the house there is a work room fitted bench fab space. In this space because of lack of space in house amongst other things we keep a large freezer and the washing machine.  There has been so much rain of late that the water which is usually contained in a channel running through the middle of the room (picture an old fashioned milking shed) has risen over the top of that flooded the bottom of the freezer. I discovered a pile of washing which Mr C's son had washed prior to leaving and forgotten in the washer stinking to high heaven have just re-washed it but have no where to dry it.

2. Bedroom.  It needs decorating.  The kids removed a dreadful 70's fitted unit last year and behind it was layer upon layer of wallpaper dating back to when the house was built.  My plan today strip wallpaper.  The bucket of water that I had taken up there liberally spilling it on the stairs en-route is now all over the bed.  The linen basket carefully balanced atop the wardrobe has spilt it's load down the side of said wardrobe and onto floor. I thought at this point that a coffee was in order.

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

I am sharing this with you in a vain effort to hang on to what little sanity I have left.  You may now point and laugh at will.

[Barman]

Right now I have two self made disaster areas in da house and one under da house.

1. Under extending the house there is a work room fitted bench fab space. In this space because of lack of space in house amongst other things we keep a large freezer and the washing machine.  There has been so much rain of late that the water which is usually contained in a channel running through the middle of the room (picture an old fashioned milking shed) has risen over the top of that flooded the bottom of the freezer. I discovered a pile of washing which Mr C's son had washed prior to leaving and forgotten in the washer stinking to high heaven have just re-washed it but have no where to dry it.

2. Bedroom.  It needs decorating.  The kids removed a dreadful 70's fitted unit last year and behind it was layer upon layer of wallpaper dating back to when the house was built.  My plan today strip wallpaper.  The bucket of water that I had taken up there liberally spilling it on the stairs en-route is now all over the bed.  The linen basket carefully balanced atop the wardrobe has spilt it's load down the side of said wardrobe and onto floor. I thought at this point that a coffee was in order.

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

I am sharing this with you in a vain effort to hang on to what little sanity I have left.  You may now point and laugh at will.

I think you should sit down....

[Nick]

Do you do yer own electrical repairs?

[Just One More]

Right now I have two self made disaster areas in da house and one under da house.

1. Under extending the house there is a work room fitted bench fab space. In this space because of lack of space in house amongst other things we keep a large freezer and the washing machine.  There has been so much rain of late that the water which is usually contained in a channel running through the middle of the room (picture an old fashioned milking shed) has risen over the top of that flooded the bottom of the freezer. I discovered a pile of washing which Mr C's son had washed prior to leaving and forgotten in the washer stinking to high heaven have just re-washed it but have no where to dry it.

2. Bedroom.  It needs decorating.  The kids removed a dreadful 70's fitted unit last year and behind it was layer upon layer of wallpaper dating back to when the house was built.  My plan today strip wallpaper.  The bucket of water that I had taken up there liberally spilling it on the stairs en-route is now all over the bed.  The linen basket carefully balanced atop the wardrobe has spilt it's load down the side of said wardrobe and onto floor. I thought at this point that a coffee was in order.

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

I am sharing this with you in a vain effort to hang on to what little sanity I have left.  You may now point and laugh at will.

Oh, Miss C 

Thank god we have keyboards now otherwise it if was a typewriter the platen would have knocked the coffee and other bits flying when you'd have hit "return carriage"

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

  Sad but true JOM.

[Barman]

Sad but true JOM.

Plus you'd have ink from the ribbon all over your hands and face.... 

[Darwins Selection]

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

Are you related to Mrs DS (#3)?

Large frying pan of bacon and eggs on Aga, getting a bit fierce on the hot side so she lifts the lid on the simmer side and slides pan across.

Then she goes to lower the lid on the hot side, instead drops it. Handle of pan is overhanging the hot side, so the lid lands on it and catapaults bacon, eggs and hot fat out of the pan.

She steps back to avoid hot contents in flight and sits on a dozen eggs on the kitchen table.

Meanwhile, the contents of the pan land on the cat which was sleeping next to the Aga. In true scalded cat style, it launches inself at a closed window and in bouncing off the glass, knocks a very large vase of flowers off the ledge to smash on the floor.

It isn't just you Miss C.

[Barman]

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

Are you related to Mrs DS (#3)?

Large frying pan of bacon and eggs on Aga, getting a bit fierce on the hot side so she lifts the lid on the simmer side and slides pan across.

Then she goes to lower the lid on the hot side, instead drops it. Handle of pan is overhanging the hot side, so the lid lands on it and catapaults bacon, eggs and hot fat out of the pan.

She steps back to avoid hot contents in flight and sits on a dozen eggs on the kitchen table.

Meanwhile, the contents of the pan land on the cat which was sleeping next to the Aga. In true scalded cat style, it launches inself at a closed window and in bouncing off the glass, knocks a very large vase of flowers off the ledge to smash on the floor.

It isn't just you Miss C.

 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

Are you related to Mrs DS (#3)?

Large frying pan of bacon and eggs on Aga, getting a bit fierce on the hot side so she lifts the lid on the simmer side and slides pan across.

Then she goes to lower the lid on the hot side, instead drops it. Handle of pan is overhanging the hot side, so the lid lands on it and catapaults bacon, eggs and hot fat out of the pan.

She steps back to avoid hot contents in flight and sits on a dozen eggs on the kitchen table.

Meanwhile, the contents of the pan land on the cat which was sleeping next to the Aga. In true scalded cat style, it launches inself at a closed window and in bouncing off the glass, knocks a very large vase of flowers off the ledge to smash on the floor.

It isn't just you Miss C.

 

I know the average keyboard can survive a coffee nose moment - I'm just praying that an iPad can too!

 

[Nick]

I fell in the canal this afternoon 

Now the inside of my car is wet 

[Nick]

3. Kitchen.  Whilst making 2 coffees one of which must be filtered I thought I would make use of the time whilst waiting for the kettle to boil doing useful things. In removing the filter papers from the over head cupboard I knocked out the small bag of garlic croutons they narrowly missed the mugs but did scatter over the work top.  The sugar pot needed re-filling. Easy enough you may think, oh noes there is now sugar all over the floor and work surface and I know from previous experiance that it will be in places it couldn't have possibly reached.  Neither Mr C nor I take sugar.   To avoid walking the sugar into the rest of the floor I opened the fridge door leant over to remove the milk and in doing so knocked the next up flying there is now a mixture of Utterly Sodding All Over The Place Butterly dripping down the cooker along with some coriander paste.

Are you related to Mrs DS (#3)?

Large frying pan of bacon and eggs on Aga, getting a bit fierce on the hot side so she lifts the lid on the simmer side and slides pan across.

Then she goes to lower the lid on the hot side, instead drops it. Handle of pan is overhanging the hot side, so the lid lands on it and catapaults bacon, eggs and hot fat out of the pan.

She steps back to avoid hot contents in flight and sits on a dozen eggs on the kitchen table.

Meanwhile, the contents of the pan land on the cat which was sleeping next to the Aga. In true scalded cat style, it launches inself at a closed window and in bouncing off the glass, knocks a very large vase of flowers off the ledge to smash on the floor.

It isn't just you Miss C.

Poor cat