I'm going out to join a gym

[GROWLER]

I know, I know, I've bleated on in the past about them being a useless faddy waste of money, as MY gym is free and outdoors, quite 'illy and punishing.

However, I'm still a fat bastard (imo) and need to lose some weight, and 'ill walking doesn't seem to be having any positive effect on weight loss...at all.

I thought a bit of weight loss would also help take the strain of me legs too, enabling me to walk up me 'ills and things a bit quicker.

I have a plan for a new challenge next year, so NOW is the time to do something positive in preperation for 'Grueller 2011'

Where do I go though?

Which one do I choose?

How much do they cost?

Will reception laugh at me and turn me away?

[The Moan Ranger]

Facts please - weight and height.

[GROWLER]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

[Nick]

There is some frightful place on the M53 about J3?

[The Moan Ranger]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

[GROWLER]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

6'1, and 15 3/4 st., mainly consisting of raw cake.

As I said, one fat bastard and it's GOT to change.

[GROWLER]

There is some frightful place on the M53 about J3?

Total Fitness or summat?

Looks expensive.

[Just One More]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

6'1, and 15 3/4 st., mainly consisting of raw cake.

As I said, one fat bastard and it's GOT to change.

F**king stick insect 

[Snoopy]

Costs of membership depends on facilities. In general terms you get what you pay for. For decent facilities with a swimming pool expect to pay between £800 and £1000 a year in your area. That should ensure that the staff are properly qualified to give advice and supervision to ensure you don't kill yourself. The local country club and gym in this village charges close to £1000 pa.
There are cheaper around but some are very risky. You could talk to your GP and if he/she agrees that it is necessary they can refer you to your local hospital physio for advice. Many hospitals have a supervised rehab gym for just that purpose. My local hosp certainly has.




PS For what it is worth the physio I saw recently pointed out that there is no point in exercising unless you also control what you eat so a diet is also necessary.

[GROWLER]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

6'1, and 15 3/4 st., mainly consisting of raw cake.

As I said, one fat bastard and it's GOT to change.

F**king stick insect 

Wha? 

I have to sit down to fasten me shoe laces up ffs!
One step from Velcro i tell you.

[GROWLER]

That Total Fitness center 'starts' FROM £275 p.a.

Terms and bloody conditions probably apply, and that's probably just the fee to get in the place.
Use of equipment extra no doubt.

[The Moan Ranger]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

6'1, and 15 3/4 st., mainly consisting of raw cake.

As I said, one fat bastard and it's GOT to change.

Stout perhaps, but not fat.

[awaits Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch from someone...]

[Just One More]

Try your local leisure centres rather than private health clubs. The one down here costs £301.50 p.a including pool, See here

[Nick]

Try Craxton Wood. Gym, pool, sauna, steam, and nice girlies  

[GROWLER]

Facts please - weight and height.

Why?
You a expert on these matters like? 

Not at all - but you said that in your opinion you think you are fat. Mrs TMRBB thinks she's fat, but she isn't. The facts will put things into perspective.

6'1, and 15 3/4 st., mainly consisting of raw cake.

As I said, one fat bastard and it's GOT to change.

Stout perhaps, but not fat.

[awaits Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch from someone...]

Stout?

That sound much werser than being a fat bastard even!

I need to lose 3 st, simples.

Trouble is, my fetish for cake and choccy and lemon bob bons, and jelly babies, and mints, and fudge, and jelly beans, and super sour snakes etc etc. Need I go on?