Fortunately, my regular waking pattern of every 2 hours has this morning saved my car from being stolen.
Sewer scrote came in through the back door that Mrs G had accidentaly left unlocked, and i hadn't checked upon my return from the pub to a dark house at midnight.
I was lying there cursing myself regarding this waking up every 2 hours nonsense, when I heard a noise outside.
Looked at my watch and it was 03:50.
Then I heard my car being started, and then stopping/stalling.
This happened about 5 times.
In a weary haze of confusion, I lept out of my pit, opened the widow just in time to see this 2 legged scrotum absolutely legging it down the road.
By the time I got dressed, he'd have been well away, but I was going looking anyway.
Shouted at Mrs G to ring the rozzers.
2 minutes into my search, the blue lights and sirens of 2 plodmobiles came towards me, so I hoped they were doing the same as me, and stopped them with a description of the bastard.
They were thankfully....what a rapid response! 10/10 plod!
We all went charging off in different directions.
20 minutes later, and after stopping to ask a window cleaner...i kid you not...and sevaral dog walkers, to ask if they'd seen 'twat', my phone rings.
Mrs G with the doziest question of the year.
" Have you got your phone with you?"
"Plod are here and want to speak to you"
Whilst discovering that both Mrs G 's handbag and MM's school bag with all of her course work had been stolen, message comes through to say a twat had been cornered just half a mile away, taken down and bitten on the arm by the police wolfy, sweet, so sweet.
Arrested on the suspicion of burglary and currently banged up awaiting interview
Scene of crime dept are on their way here to coat everything with silver dust to get the 'dabs to hopefully nail the rodent.
The very first time I've ever thanked Mrs G for parking the car in 'nose first', as I'm always moaning about the car not being reversed in, to make it easier and safer to exit in the mornings.
If it hadn't been for this good fortune, the car would have gone, no doubt about it, probably never to be seen again, and no doubt the insurance would have laughed in my face regarding any claim, cus the back door was left unlocked.
This morning the Growler household is very very very lucky indeed., AND WELL DONE PLOD AND WOLF!
I shall naturally be rewarding the local cop shop with a bag of the best doughnuts.
