Pepper spray.

[Miss Demeanour]

I have a large one of these upstairs

Shame you don't have a large one downstairs 

[apc2010]

put "olbas oil" in a spray container or "jif" bottle ,, perfectly legal , but if by some accident in got into somebodies eyes or near, they will not be able to open their eyes for about 2 mins..

no perm damage.....

[Barman]

I have a large one of these upstairs

Shame you don't have a large one downstairs 

[tel]

I seem to recall a book (by Stephen King) with 2 rather nasty characters.

One used to chew chillies and then used to spray/spit into peoples faces.

[Barman]

I seem to recall a book (by Stephen King) with 2 rather nasty characters.

One used to chew chillies and then used to spray/spit into peoples faces.

Ewww!

[Snoopy]

I seem to recall a book (by Stephen King) with 2 rather nasty characters.

One used to chew chillies and then used to spray/spit into peoples faces.

Ewww!

Stephen King only writes fiction (poorly at that)

[Barman]

I seem to recall a book (by Stephen King) with 2 rather nasty characters.

One used to chew chillies and then used to spray/spit into peoples faces.

Ewww!

Stephen King only writes fiction (poorly at that)

Agreed... Although I though Gerald's Game was quite good....

[Snoopy]

I confess I haven't read much of his stuff. A couple of books written, I believe, some years apart seemed to me to be the same basic story dressed up to look different. I cannot even remember the titles ..... SWWLTBO got them out of the library for me when I was in hospital and when in hospital you'll read almost anything out of sheer boredom. I do recall a mono-eyebrowed local who saw the books on my locker and was raving about how wonderful they were.

[Barman]

I confess I haven't read much of his stuff. A couple of books written, I believe, some years apart seemed to me to be the same basic story dressed up to look different. I cannot even remember the titles ..... SWWLTBO got them out of the library for me when I was in hospital and when in hospital you'll read almost anything out of sheer boredom. I do recall a mono-eyebrowed local who saw the books on my locker and was raving about how wonderful they were.

Try Gerald's Game - on yer Kindle like... 

Among Stephen King's large body of work, there are admittedly a few duds, but in far greater number are the really super pieces of work, the great books that will stand the test of time and, eventually, he will be deservedly remembered for. There are at least 5 which could vie for the "his best book" accolade, and Gerald's Game is one of them. It is, in a word, superb.

It is one of King's most eccentric books, in terms of the rest of his work. There is no horror here at all, at least not of the ghouly kind. Instead, we sink down into the mind of one character, trapped in a cabin for four hundred pages, and see the internal horrors that lie within it. It is a psychological novel more than anything, which would most probably appeal to fans of authors like Ruth Rendell or Ian McEwan - fans of writers whose normal subject is the human mind, its messinesses and ways of preservation, its internal conflicts and idiosyncrasies. Gerald's Game is a excellent book because King is able to keep us in the company of one single character, alone in a room, tied to a bed, for almost the entire book, and never do we experience a moment of boredom. It would be difficult to overstate the level of achievement this illustrates.

Obviously, not everyone's going to like it. There are people who will find this book boring, and will want more action, more obvious thrills and excitements. If you like subtlety, though, more focused and mental thrills which spring from a more psychological well, this book is for you. It's a marvellous exercise in form and structure, and an absolutely gripping psychological novel. I think King's best work is normally produced when he moves away from overt horror, and this is an example of that. It's a sharp, deeply engaging and gripping book that is no less terrifying than if there were vampires or ghosts involved. Read it. It's not only unique among King's work, but in almost everything else I've read as well.

[Baldy]

I hope you do not mind me joining in. I have been reading your threads for quite a while now and hopefully I might be accepted.

I have a rozzer mate who informed me that my baseball bat behind my bed would be seen as 'an offensive weapon' should a burgliar enter my humble abode as I do not actually play baseball.

He did point out that as a golfer, a 9 iron by my bed would be acceptable, as I might reach for the nearest thing to defend myself.

Just a shame I did not practice on my ex wife.

[Nick]

Welcome Baldymort #2 (or is that Cyprus Tony?) We look forward to more weapons related advice!!

[Snoopy]

Welcome oh hairless one!

Of course you are welcome .... If you have been reading our threads for some time and still want to come in then you are already qualified, as being barking mad ~ whilst not a pre-requisite ~ is certainly a help.

The rules, as you will have gathered are few and far between. We prefer self restraint (when we can find any). Staying on topic is difficult as few of us can remember what we were talking about but Matron sometimes helps out by reminding us what day it is.

Feel free to comment as and when you choose and the first virtual drink is on the house (so long as the Barman is out of the way).

Another divorcee eh? I think the only ones here who have not shed at least one spouse are those who have never married. You should fit in nicely.

[Barman]

Welcome baldy! 

[Uncle Mort]

Welcome indeed. Half of mild please.

[Barman]

Welcome indeed. Half of mild please.

So soon after your birthday Uncle - is that wise?