THW was bending over doing summat and Minimus wanted to get past. He asked politely three times then jabbed her in the arse with a plastic ruler. She started ranting at him at which point Minor came wandering by "What's all the fuss?"
Minimus: "She wouldn't move when I said 'scuse me THREE TIMES! ... So I poked her with my ruler" Holds up 6 inch plastic ruler.
Minor "That's no good, you need a fucking cattle prod to shift her fat arse"
Weeping with laughter I had to tell him not to use such words.
His defence "Well it's true"
I said "That may be but.........."
At which point THW went
and called her mother.
Boys and I are now in the sh*t with all wimmin in the house.