For me Monday means I wake feeling glad that I no longer have to face to slog into Town (used to be at least 1.5 hours to cover the 35 miles into Holborn)
BUT what happens is that a car has a flat battery because some twat left the interior light on when they parked it on Friday so I am out there, in my PJ's, with the jump leads.
For me Monday means no "Contact immediately" messages from the MD or a client
BUT what happens is that I turn on my PC to find a long rant from eldest daughter complaining about "Your Granddaughter" .... forgetting that I am almost 300 miles away and anyway the child is her daughter.
For me Monday means I no longer walk into the office expecting (and usually receiving) dog's abuse from the H&S guy about something that has happened over the weekend when I was not on duty
BUT what happens is that SWWLTBO and the THW are arguing about letters to and from school, money needed (why look at me, I don't carry cash in my dressing gown) and the general stupidity of having to go to school on a BUS.
For me Monday means that when I go out of the house I can breath in God's good clean air and drive through beautiful countryside
BUT what actually happens is that there is a sea mist and a stench hanging in it from a recently fertilized field and I encounter a convoy of farm vehicles either cutting hedgerows or hauling silage from one farm to another. Then some stupid wummun tries to overtake us all in her Chelsea Tractor, the steering wheel of which she can hardly see over, and finding her way blocked by oncoming traffic watch as she proves she cannot reverse the bloody thing without hitting either a tractor or putting her rear wheels into the ditch.
For me Monday is a day to reflect upon the stupidity of life
BUT what it actually turns into is a mental re-run of all the reasons I swore never to get re-married and have children because I knew they would cock up the weekend with bickering, disagreements and general nonsense.
For me Monday is the day I can sit down, once they have all gone, and read the weekend supplements
BUT what actually happens is I find that the boys have cut out a variety of pictures, the THW has removed a number of "relevant" articles and SWWLTBO has used what is left to either light the fires or wrap the remains of Sunday lunch prior to throwing it in the bin.
