Most people that meet me leave with the impression that I am a well-mannered, balanced sort of chap that always tries to see the good in everyone. Even Nissan Micra drivers.
But after listening to the Northerners here, I am starting to rant a bit.
They moan. About everything - it's too hot; a bit cloudy; a bit windy; there's no deep fried whippet or lard sandwiches on offer in the restaurant; the entertainment team can't speak Northern; there are stray cats wandering around; The Sun cost 2 1/2 euros; the ants are too big; the ice-cream portions are too small; it gets dark too early; it gets too hot too early; there's no Sky TV etc.
I could go on - that's just what I heard when I was at the bar for 2 minutes to get a drink.
Then - the cruncher - "drinks are too expensive" and at 3 1/2 euros a pint, they may have a point.
But as it only costs me and MrsTMRBB 30 euros per day between us to go all-inclusive, you have to wonder about their sanity or, indeed, basic economics.
If they've already spent 400 snotters to get here, flying on crash-about-to-happen Jet2 and a further 250 on B+B accomodation then why not lob a further 210 in and have all the food (very good by the way) and drinks their fat bodies desire?
I think Darwin may be at work - in the fullness of time these cro-magnon halfwits will realise and then, probably, will sell one of their kidneys, or one of their 28 children to get the free bar they desire.
But still no lard sandwiches.
I digress.
This makes me sad, as the last time I was infested by northerners was a rugby tour to Buxton - and they were all utterly brilliant.
But now, I fear, there is no option; have them conjoined to the porridge-wogs and have the entire lot floated off somewhere into the North Sea. And they can take Coronation Street with them.
