Re-incarnation. I don't know whether you believe in it, but let's say it's true.
Being re-incarnated as a chicken would seem to be the worst option. You either spend your life popping out hideously oversized children which are subsequently fried, boiled or scrambled, or at a young age you are decapited, coated in the Colonel's special coating, deep fried and then served to gum-chewing chavs by a teenager with acne and chlamydia.
Or Reynard T Fox massacres you and all those around you, just because he can.
All in all, not exactly a great life.
But - on balance - I still think I'd rather come back as a chicken rather than a Northerner.
That is all.