Bum shavings

[Spalpeen]

This is really a gripe about poor quality toilet paper.  A hard session working the crease results in little snowflakes of white paper that drift down onto the seat of my trousers.  As a result, if I forget to brush these off, anyone can tell when I have just wiped my arse and you can be sure that they will waste no time in pointing this out to as many people as possible.

[Uncle Mort]

Buy better quality toilet paper and change your diet.

[Spalpeen]

Yo Mort, not much I can do when I'm at work as they choose the toilet paper.  Cheap and nasty stuff that really chafes!

[Misunderstood]

Is spalpeen an anagram of galoot or spigot?

[Spalpeen]

Ey what?

[D P Dance]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

[Berek]

 

 

[Spalpeen]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???

[Berek]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???

you are Squidward 

[Misunderstood]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 

[Spalpeen]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   ::)

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 

Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

[GROWLER]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

How does one dry oneself afterwards though???

you are Squidward 

Showing all those classic signs I must agree....sadly.

[Misunderstood]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 

Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

   I feel silly now........

[Spalpeen]

I cannot extol more highly the virtue of the bidet, I have them in three of my properties.

Not only are they more hygienic than paper, by a blast of warm water up one's kyber pass can be quite cathartic.

Idiot, Why would you want a cathartic effect when you have just been?   

I think your description is more apt of your character rather than it's functions 

Listen, do you mind not spoling my post with stupid personal attacks? I can't see anything in D P Dance's reply that justified that kind of response.

I am so sorry.  My apologies.  I did not realise that D P Dance and you were one and the same poster.

   I feel silly now........

That's ok, apology accepted. But why would you think we are one and the same poster? Why does everyone have to be someone else round here?

[Berek]