TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread

[Darwins Selection]

We've got 35 minutes from the second the chocks are put on the plane until the last bag is put on the reclaim belt. Time is precious and bags cannot each be put gingerly (sorry Nick) onto the lorry or baggage belt!

[not sarky]
Your tales have done a great deal to improve our pre-conceptions of your profession. Well done. [/not sarky]

[The Moan Ranger]

Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage.

[Nick]

Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.

[Barman]

Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.

 

[Darwins Selection]

Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.

 

[Barman]

Why thank you DS, if you should ever be passing through Gatwick I will of course ensure the safe transit of your luggage but not of your Talisker.

 

The ridiculous thing is of course that you can fly almost anywhere else in the world and buy the stuff cheaper than you can in the UK... 

[The Moan Ranger]

It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

[Barman]

It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 

[Baldy]

It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 

[Darwins Selection]

It appears that goose-stepping round the Air Berlin planes is frowned upon :-)

 

[The Moan Ranger]

So...tonight they say "TMR, fancy learning 'brake riding' tonight?". "Not arf!" says I.

At the end of the night, lots of planes are on stands that do not suit the requirements for the first flights out the next morning; so our boys tow them around so that the right planes are in the right place. This requires the bloke who can tow the plane, plus another in the heavy tug with him to talk to the other who is "brake-riding" in the plane. The job of the brake-rider is to sit in the captains seat, start the auxilliary power unit (the small jet that powers the hydraulics, leccy, air-con etc.) release the parking brake and then cover the brakes whilst being towed - in case somehow the plane becomes detached from the towbar and tug.

So tonight I have been starting the small auxilliary jets, sitting in the captains seat and covering the brakes on a £80 million pound Airbus A320. Eeek!

[apc2010]

So...tonight they say "TMR, fancy learning 'brake riding' tonight?". "Not arf!" says I.

At the end of the night, lots of planes are on stands that do not suit the requirements for the first flights out the next morning; so our boys tow them around so that the right planes are in the right place. This requires the bloke who can tow the plane, plus another in the heavy tug with him to talk to the other who is "brake-riding" in the plane. The job of the brake-rider is to sit in the captains seat, start the auxilliary power unit (the small jet that powers the hydraulics, leccy, air-con etc.) release the parking brake and then cover the brakes whilst being towed - in case somehow the plane becomes detached from the towbar and tug.

So tonight I have been starting the small auxilliary jets, sitting in the captains seat and covering the brakes on a £80 million pound Airbus A320. Eeek!

Cool.............................

[The Moan Ranger]

Not arf! I will admit to being somewhat nervous (read: cacking meself) throughout!

[The Moan Ranger]

And before anyone thinks this job is just playing with big boys toys (awaits an inevitable BMong joke) prior to the brake riding I did 3 unloads with my "team" - 2 others. Neither of whom could drive electric lorries, chock a plane, power a plane up or put steps on. All 3 unloads needed steps and free-standing ground power units(GPUs), which are basically just mahoosive diesel generators. So for those 3 jobs I had to go and find the steps, lower them, tow them to the plane,raise them, put them on, secure them THEN tow the GPU to the plane, power the plane up, get the OK from the pilot that he was powered up and thus could shut down his auxilliary power jet THEN reverse the electric lorry up to the front and back holds to get all the bags off AND help lug all the bags off AND THEN drive the electric lorry to the baggage reclaim belts and offloads the bags there. The other 2 could only offload the bags from the plane and at baggage reclaim and put the cones round the plane. No wonder I'm feckin knackered - but I loved every moment of it. 

[Barman]

MR is my hero...