Author Topic: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread  (Read 247631 times)

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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #315 on: August 17, 2011, 02:08:55 AM »
Fairly uneventful night tonight apart from one flight where I was told the rear hold door was "In-op" (presume this mean inoperative) and all the bags were in the front hold. We took 107 bags out of the front which is about average for a Palma Mallorca flight. Later, I found out that there were actually 24 bags in the rear...ooops!

Next job was the Amman flight - always a heavy load. Tonight was just taking the piss though -
scores of bags all 32+ kilos and 171 in total. One was 47kg! When I first tried to lift it I thought some wag had super-glued it to the floor.  Some careful stacking on the electric lorry was required to get them all on and by the time we'd unloaded them at baggage reclaim we were all pretty knackered...but it was only 01.05 so when I radioed it in I was expecting to get one final job. The answer came back "...you finished that quick...go and have a fag and then RTB". Dean (the job allocator) is an lovely man!

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #316 on: August 17, 2011, 08:07:19 AM »
 happy100  Umm a hard days night then?
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #317 on: August 17, 2011, 08:09:18 AM »
He'll be running BAA in a few years you mark my words.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #318 on: August 17, 2011, 02:30:08 PM »
He'll be running BAA in a few years you mark my words.

I'll sell my shares....  whistle:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #319 on: August 22, 2011, 02:16:25 AM »
After finishing the Chlamydia flight (Ibiza) I was tol to go to stand 101 for the next job "in about 15 minutes". This is the code the allocators use to tell me I have time to nip out landside for a quick ciggie, before the plane arrives. Obviously, the allocators can't be seen to be encouraging us to go outside, so they always drop heavy hints. Good lads.

Anyhoo, was having a ciggie with one of my team - the other went to 101 and would make a start if we weren't back in time - when the allocator called me on the radio - "change of plan, sort out the Malaga flight on 112. It's just landed". Bugger. We finished our ciggies, rushed through security and went as fast as we could (the electic baggage tugs are limited to 20mph) to 112. Luckily, the plane was still taxiing (is that a word?) to stand and we made it O.K.  Plane unloaded and bags deposited in the North baggage reclaim by 01:09. I called it in and was sort of expecting "RTB". Alas no :-(  "Go to 160 Right", plane's already on the deck". Stand 160 Right is out in the fields a bit and by the time we got there the plane was just pulling up to the stand. Being a remote stand, means there is no jetty for the passengers to get off through, so it needs steps put on. In my team, only I am "qualified" to put steps on a plane (can be risky - easy to damage the plane) so the other 2 busied themselves getting the holds open and startin to get the bags out. I put the mains power on the plane, then towed the steps up close and pulled them in the final few yards, before securing the stabilisers. Luckily, the transfer buses hadn't turned up, so my delay wasn't a problem - they weren't getting off anyway!

Bags unloaded (Alicante - only about 100), mad dash back to the North terminal baggage reclaim, bags chucked and I radioed it in "RTB" came the welcome reply. The Alicante plane landed at 01:14 and we were heading back to base at 01:42. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the passengers were still on the plane waiting for the buses!

Why oh why can't I have Harry and Bobby in my team every night, life would be sooooo much easier!

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #320 on: August 22, 2011, 04:52:07 AM »
 :thumbsup:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #321 on: August 23, 2011, 02:26:26 AM »
Fairly quiet night, but a few "moments".

First 2 jobs of the were easy enough and not much to unload and then - unusually - we were RTB'd for 20 minutes or so, before being sent out to stand 106 (North Terminal) for a Corfu, 131 bag job. We arrived at the stand and I made sure the chocks and cones were ready, then put the mains power on in readiness. The plane in question then came screamind down the taxiway - probably faster than I go down the M23! - and swung into the stand and stopped, brake coolers screaming. It sounds just like an air-raid siren and just as loud. While my two team members busied themselves with the cones and getting the holds open, I chocked it, powered it up then banged on the underside of the cockpit to let the pilot know mains power was on - there's a little hand sign you do to tell them. Lo and behold, the pilot was a woman! And a looker too!  Bleedin' hell, they'll be giving them the vote next...

Having dumped the luggage at reclaim we were sent to the next job, Las Palmas on 105. Heavy, heavy, heavy. 162 big bastard bags, 9 baby buggies and 2 heavy wheelchairs. We were all sweating like pigs by them time we dumped that lot at reclaim. By this time it was 12.45 so I radioed in and was told "Right, last job is on 170, bags to the North reclaim. Lands in about 20 minutes". Perfick. Stand 170 is out in the fields, but right beside an entrance/exit where I could nip out for a ciggie while we waited. Suitably ciggied up, I re-joined my 2 colleagues and hooked up a set of steps in readiness, then sat back and watched as a swarm of EasyJets landed.

15 minutes passed and I was getting perturbed as the passenger buses hadn't turned up. Odd, but they are late quite a lot...

Suddenly, my radio crackled into life - "TMR, I've dropped a bollock, your plane is actually coming in on stand 11, not 170". "No worries" says I, we are on our way. Stand 170 is about as far away as you can get from 11, so the race was on - could we get there before the plane. Luckily I had one of the faster electric buggies and at one point I was alongside the plane as it taxied to the stand. Hopped out, chocked it, powered it, then my colleague turned up and we off-loaded it, as the rain started to come down. The poor passengers, coming back from Heraklion, didn't look impressed with the weather as the filed onto the transfer bus!  Stand 11 is in the South Terminal, but they were being bussed to the North Terminal, where we had to dump the bags.

As usual, all the bags were on the carousel by the time they cleared Passport control and we were heading back to base and off home. Another afternoon and night in the life on "the ramp" - it's amazing how quickly the 12 hours passes. Bleedin' knackered now, mind. 

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #322 on: August 23, 2011, 07:27:15 AM »
When's the book coming out?

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #323 on: August 23, 2011, 02:57:37 PM »
When's the book coming out?

I'm just going to wait for the film Uncle....

funny airplane scene
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #324 on: August 24, 2011, 02:26:09 AM »
Trouble at mill.

Did a plane "spin" earlier and I wasn't team leader as you need someone to drive the push-back tug and someone on the headsets to the pilot - so on this job I was just the baggage loader/unloader.

Anyhoo, the team leader (push-back tug driver) and headsets bloke are both really nice and good fun.

The plane came to the head of stand and stopped and we are not meant to approach the plane until the anti-collision lights have been turned off - but in reality, you creep up to the plane whilst waiting. These two chaps crept a bit too close, a bit too soon - to put the chocks on and the power. Luckily, I stayed rooted to my spot until the anti-collisions had gone out, then put the cones round and opened the rear hold door. The fourth member of our team, Stupid Stu opened the front hold and did a "chin up" to check the front was empty. You're not meant to do this - you bring a loading belt to the hold and walk up it and take a good look, to make sure it's empty.

The plane was unloaded, then re-loaded double quick (nearly bloody killed me, mind) and the plane went off on time, despite landing 25 minutes late.

Back to the crew room for a break then suddenly all four of us were called into the office. Not good. Apparently we had been videoed by the Airline's H+S nazi, who took a dim view of the safety "lapses".

And I say lapses because in reality, the deviations from "procedure" are not in any way dangerous to anyone who knows a bit about planes.

Regardless, the Duty Manager is obliged to investigate and we all had to write reports of our roles in the job and we warned that we may be suspended during the investigation.

When I handed my report in he told me "TMR, the video shows you did everything by the book, so you're fine. The other 3, however..."

We'll find out more later today.

The airline nazi also videoed another crew - they are also in the dock. 

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #325 on: August 24, 2011, 04:53:31 AM »
Oh gawd....  scared2:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #326 on: August 24, 2011, 04:56:19 AM »
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #327 on: August 24, 2011, 04:57:33 AM »
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:

happy001
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #328 on: August 24, 2011, 06:28:51 AM »
Bank Holiday's coming up. You're due a strike aren't you  point:

happy001

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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #329 on: August 25, 2011, 01:54:44 AM »
Following yesterday's "incident", the Team Leader was giving a severe bollocking and that's all. Result.