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Author Topic: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread  (Read 247702 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #555 on: March 12, 2012, 05:36:28 AM »
One of the planes we handle is an ATR72 - small twin prop job, maximum 72 passengers. Usually you get about 40 bags. Today, however, we had one which had 68 bags to be loaded. And that isn't easy - the average small hatchback probably has more loading space than this plane does. Still, we got them all in...a few may have been a bit squashed...

Last job of the night was from Larnaca - 134 bags. Obviously the Cyprus baggage loaders are less careful than us, as when I opened the front hold, the stench of vinegar was overpowering and a bag containing  Sarson's best was the culprit. Do people really take vinegar on holiday? Is Cyprus devoid of non-brewed condiment?  Very odd...

It was prolly a bottle of the local collapso....  lol:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #556 on: March 12, 2012, 08:11:35 AM »
On the subject of what one can't buy "abroad"
A good friend (and ex manager) of mine with 4 children always used to drive to the South of France for their annual camping holiday. Realising that the children were getting bigger he first invested in an Espace and then a roof box.

As we worked together we frequently stopped near his place on our journeys  home for a pint and one evening he told me he had some papers at home which I would need whilst he was away. We got to his house to find his wife had got the roof box out of the garage and loaded it ready for the early morning start planned for the next day. It was on the front lawn next to the car.
He went mad! "How the fvck do you expect me to lift that onto the roof of the Espace?" he demanded.

Soooooo Ever helpful I offered to help but we couldn't lift the damn thing so the decision was made to unload it and fit it to the car and then reload it.

When we unpacked the bloody thing we found she had packed into it, along with a dozen tins of baked beans, tea bags, 6 boxes of cornflakes and sundry other foodstuff sufficient for a family of 6 for a fortnight, 24 litre bottles of "Evian" water ..... "Because you can't trust the water in France".

His language, as he pointed out the labels clearly stated that "Evian" is bottled in France, nearly led to the divorce courts!
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Offline Barman

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #557 on: March 12, 2012, 08:18:12 AM »
On the subject of what one can't buy "abroad"
A good friend (and ex manager) of mine with 4 children always used to drive to the South of France for their annual camping holiday. Realising that the children were getting bigger he first invested in an Espace and then a roof box.

As we worked together we frequently stopped near his place on our journeys  home for a pint and one evening he told me he had some papers at home which I would need whilst he was away. We got to his house to find his wife had got the roof box out of the garage and loaded it ready for the early morning start planned for the next day. It was on the front lawn next to the car.
He went mad! "How the fvck do you expect me to lift that onto the roof of the Espace?" he demanded.

Soooooo Ever helpful I offered to help but we couldn't lift the damn thing so the decision was made to unload it and fit it to the car and then reload it.

When we unpacked the bloody thing we found she had packed into it, along with a dozen tins of baked beans, tea bags, 6 boxes of cornflakes and sundry other foodstuff sufficient for a family of 6 for a fortnight, 24 litre bottles of "Evian" water ..... "Because you can't trust the water in France".

His language, as he pointed out the labels clearly stated that "Evian" is bottled in France, nearly led to the divorce courts!

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #558 on: March 12, 2012, 11:53:20 AM »
 lol: lol: Are they still married to each other?
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #559 on: March 12, 2012, 12:37:08 PM »
Yes they are ~ They came to visit us a couple of weeks ago in fact.

They are Minor's Godparents.
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #560 on: March 18, 2012, 06:51:05 PM »
The small push-back tugs weight 16 tonnes and are made from very thick metal. Including the doors. Thus, when a door springs back on its hinges and clumps you on the forehead you bleed lots :-(

Offline Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #561 on: March 18, 2012, 06:53:11 PM »
Compo  :thumbsup:

Pics please  Popcorn:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #562 on: March 18, 2012, 07:45:38 PM »
I'm werkin', like...far too busy to post piccies.

Offline Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #563 on: March 18, 2012, 07:49:16 PM »
 Liar:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #564 on: March 18, 2012, 07:50:50 PM »
Oh dear ......the Dangerous Brothers are not having a good weekend  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #565 on: March 18, 2012, 07:54:55 PM »
 sad24:

My right hand is twice as big my left hand  sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:
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Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #566 on: March 18, 2012, 07:56:06 PM »
 noooo:  A lens has fell out of your specs.
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #567 on: March 18, 2012, 07:57:12 PM »
Can yopu pop over and kiss it better? eyes:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #568 on: March 18, 2012, 09:00:22 PM »
sad24:

My right hand is twice as big my left hand  sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32: sad32:

I mostly despair

Offline Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #569 on: March 18, 2012, 09:11:31 PM »
Yes. But the other way round  sad24:  I showed the svelte redhead earlier and she nearly threw up  sad24:
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