TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread

[The Moan Ranger]

Tomorrow at about 12.30 an Emirates A380 is coming in. I'm not entirely sure where they're gonna put it or how they will get 600-odd passengers off quickly, seeing as there is only 1 air-bridge per stand. Sholud be interesting 

[Barman]

Tomorrow at about 12.30 an Emirates A380 is coming in. I'm not entirely sure where they're gonna put it or how they will get 600-odd passengers off quickly, seeing as there is only 1 air-bridge per stand. Sholud be interesting 

That will be interesting! 

[Uncle Mort]

Is he still unloading the bags?

[The Moan Ranger]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

[Barman]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

Did you sign autographs...? 

[Uncle Mort]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing

[Barman]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing

 

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....?

[Snoopy]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing

 

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....?

Through the doors ~ same as always. 

[Barman]

Is he still unloading the bags?

  Not me, we don't look after Emirates.  There were hundreds of plane spotters on the perimeter road to see it 

Emirates Airbus A380 First Gatwick Landing

 

That is an big bird!

So, how did they get everybody off....?

Through the doors ~ same as always. 

 

[The Moan Ranger]

Trouble brews...

The permanents get a bonus of up to £250 per month.  For the last 8 months, it's been gradually going down due to various targets not being met and other such stuff. This month they have had £112.50 deducted for only achieving 83.1% "on time departures" against the target of 83.3%. To lose the entire bonus for 0.2% is bad enough, but then they were all slapped with a further £50 deduction due to a "CATEGORY A" incident (personal injury).

The personal injury in question was a chap coming into work had the top of his finger removed when a door in the crew room slammed shut on his pinkie due to high winds. The room THE COMPANY maintains. 500-odd people lose another £50...

Mutiny on the horizon...

[Just One More]

But there's no Bank Holiday due for a while 

[Miss Demeanour]

Have they not asked for an increase in the bonus due to the extra work of the Olympics - that seems to be the order of the day 

Every bastard seems to be making money out of it. We can only accrue Time Off In Lieu for working unsociable hours and weekends 

[The Moan Ranger]

Well, we didn't get the BA contract, so I'm not sure what that means for us temps. Swissport got it and it may be that some of the Swissport boys who joined us when we got Flybe will go back. Who knows.

Late one tonight - I was on "special ops" as we are being audited by SleazyJet and I was asked to go round making sure every SleazyJet on the deck was "by the book", i.e. 4 chocks, 5 cones, all steps correct etc.

2 hours to check 63 planes, although I may have had a ciggie or two during that...

[Just One More]

You could always get a job with a reputable company like Group 4  (hope all goes well)

[Miss Demeanour]

I think they have enough threats to terror  in employment now