Author Topic: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread  (Read 257229 times)

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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1380 on: February 01, 2015, 12:27:43 PM »
"PERC" ackchewelly.

(Personal Effects Relocation Controller)

No new boots

Chief Baggage Loser . . .      whistle:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Pirate

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1381 on: February 01, 2015, 09:51:58 PM »
"PERC" ackchewelly.

(Personal Effects Relocation Controller)

No new boots

Does that mean that you relocate personal effects to a different airport, other than that where the owner of said personal effects is located...

Offline Baldy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1382 on: February 01, 2015, 10:10:11 PM »
"PERC" ackchewelly.

(Personal Effects Relocation Controller)

No new boots

Does that mean that you relocate personal effects to a different airport, other than that where the owner of said personal effects is located...

Yep.  Thumbs:

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1383 on: February 01, 2015, 10:16:10 PM »
"PERC" ackchewelly.

(Personal Effects Relocation Controller)

No new boots

Does that mean that you relocate personal effects to a different airport, other than that where the owner of said personal effects is located...

No. That's what Swissport do.

Our average "short-shipped" baggage is 7 per day - out of up to 30, 000. But those 7 will be on the next available plane and then couriered to the passenger's chosen location. 

Swissport have a habit of sending entire containers to St Kitts when they should have gone to St Lucia...

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1384 on: February 02, 2015, 05:50:59 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Online Nick

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1385 on: February 02, 2015, 05:52:15 PM »
 happy100 happy100

Chief Boot boy :thumbsup:
Warning: May contain Skub
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Offline apc2010

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1386 on: February 02, 2015, 05:54:38 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Sorry mate.......have on Youngs on my tag....... Thumbs:

Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1387 on: February 02, 2015, 06:29:13 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Get your tongue ready. . .      whistle:
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1388 on: February 02, 2015, 06:52:18 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Get your tongue ready. . .      whistle:

That's probably why I didn't get the job. Spouting off about the "woeful ineptitude and cronyism that is endemic in the airport" during the interview may have touched a few nerves.

Offline Barman

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1389 on: February 02, 2015, 06:53:39 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Get your tongue ready. . .      whistle:

That's probably why I didn't get the job. Spouting off about the "woeful ineptitude and cronyism that is endemic in the airport" during the interview may have touched a few nerves.

Plus you are too tiny to give a case a good kicking.....  noooo:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1390 on: February 02, 2015, 07:05:53 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Get your tongue ready. . .      whistle:

That's probably why I didn't get the job. Spouting off about the "woeful ineptitude and cronyism that is endemic in the airport" during the interview may have touched a few nerves.

Plus you are too tiny to give an arse a good licking.....  noooo:


 eeek:

Offline Steve

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1391 on: February 02, 2015, 10:21:00 PM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Sorry mate.......have on Youngs on my tag....... Thumbs:
What Apey said - I think my tab is good for a Youngs too

You must have impressed them if they put that olive branch out there to keep you.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Baldy

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1392 on: February 03, 2015, 10:48:36 AM »
The big boss rang me today.  I didn't get the job. 

But he has "something else" he in March he has earmarked me for...

Get your tongue ready. . .      whistle:

That's probably why I didn't get the job. Spouting off about the "woeful ineptitude and cronyism that is endemic in the airport" during the interview may have touched a few nerves.

Plus you are too tiny to give an arse a good licking.....  noooo:


 eeek:

 eeek: eeek:

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1393 on: March 01, 2015, 09:56:07 PM »
Turkish Airlines. Again.

In amongst the 135 bags on the plane, was a little Jack Russell in a travel container. The pilot popped his head into the hold and told us the dog was to be given to the passenger at baggage reclaim.

I told him to go fuck himself, Animal Reception had to collect it. He was most insistent and said it had all been authorised. I took the dog with me, chucked the 135 bags onto the reclaim belt and then went into reclaim with the dog. Two passengers approached me and I ignored them and went straight into the "red channel" and plonked the quivering hound on the desk. The Border Farce bloke gazed at me and I told him what had transpired. His jaw dropped. He phoned Animal Reception who also said that this was completely out of order and - furthermore - Turkish Airlines don't have a licence to bring live animals into Gatwick...we later found out that the dog had been booked on the plane as a passenger  eeek:

Oh, and those three Jihadi Brides that flew from Gawick with Turkish Airlines...we lose part of our bonus because of that  cussing:

Offline apc2010

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Re: TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread
« Reply #1394 on: March 01, 2015, 10:10:21 PM »
Turkish Airlines. Again.

In amongst the 135 bags on the plane, was a little Jack Russell in a travel container. The pilot popped his head into the hold and told us the dog was to be given to the passenger at baggage reclaim.

I told him to go fuck himself, Animal Reception had to collect it. He was most insistent and said it had all been authorised. I took the dog with me, chucked the 135 bags onto the reclaim belt and then went into reclaim with the dog. Two passengers approached me and I ignored them and went straight into the "red channel" and plonked the quivering hound on the desk. The Border Farce bloke gazed at me and I told him what had transpired. His jaw dropped. He phoned Animal Reception who also said that this was completely out of order and - furthermore - Turkish Airlines don't have a licence to bring live animals into Gatwick...we later found out that the dog had been booked on the plane as a passenger  eeek:

Oh, and those three Jihadi Brides that flew from Gawick with Turkish Airlines...we lose part of our bonus because of that  cussing:

Wot......... eeek: