TMR's all new "Tales from the Underworld" thread

[Darwins Selection]

The list of airlines we've taken on continues apace. We now have:-

easyJet
Aer Lingus
Icelandair
Vueling
Thomas Cook
Ryanair
Small Planet
Titan
Montenegro
Aegean
Pegasus
Ukraine
Air Europa
Iraq
Wizz
TAP
Tunisair

and possibly Air Transat and MedView  (please NO!).

This is gonna get messy

Never heard of half those. 

[Barman]

The list of airlines we've taken on continues apace. We now have:-

easyJet
Aer Lingus
Icelandair
Vueling
Thomas Cook
Ryanair
Small Planet
Titan
Montenegro
Aegean
Pegasus
Ukraine
Air Europa
Iraq
Wizz
TAP
Tunisair

and possibly Air Transat and MedView  (please NO!).

This is gonna get messy

Never heard of half those. 

I expect Your Man has...   

[The Moan Ranger]

The list of airlines we've taken on continues apace. We now have:-

easyJet
Aer Lingus
Icelandair
Vueling
Thomas Cook
Ryanair
Small Planet
Titan
Montenegro
Aegean
Pegasus
Ukraine
Air Europa
Iraq
Wizz
TAP
Tunisair

and possibly Air Transat and MedView  (please NO!).

This is gonna get messy

Never heard of half those. 

And Travel Services. And Swiss Air. Not major airlines in themselves, but when added together we are talking of an awful lot of grief. Eyes bigger than belly springs to mind.

[The Moan Ranger]

Kill me now.

easyJet (existing airline)
Aer Lingus (existing airline)
Icelandair (new airline)
Vueling (new)
Thomas Cook (new, ski flights 500ish bags)
Ryanair (new)
Small Planet (existing)
Titan (existing)
Montenegro (existing)
Aegean (new, 3 segregations of baggge (Local, Transfer and Priority))
Pegasus (new, 3 segragations)
Ukraine (new, 4 segragations)
Air Europa (existing)
Iraq (existing)
Wizz (existing)
TAP (new, 3 segratations)
Tunisair (new, 2 segragations)
Denim Air (fuck knows)
MedView (B747 ~ 1,100 bags per flight and pilot has to use the Company Credit card to pay for fuel, everything else as no credit facilities)
Royal Air Maroc (liable to be shite)

We were promised 380 staff being TUPE'd over. Reality is closer to 110. This is going to be utterly hilarious 

[Nick]

And I am seeing news coverage of how drunks should avoid railways next month 

[apc2010]

Kill me now.

easyJet (existing airline)
Aer Lingus (existing airline)
Icelandair (new airline)
Vueling (new)
Thomas Cook (new, ski flights 500ish bags)
Ryanair (new)
Small Planet (existing)
Titan (existing)
Montenegro (existing)
Aegean (new, 3 segregations of baggge (Local, Transfer and Priority))
Pegasus (new, 3 segragations)
Ukraine (new, 4 segragations)
Air Europa (existing)
Iraq (existing)
Wizz (existing)
TAP (new, 3 segratations)
Tunisair (new, 2 segragations)
Denim Air (fuck knows)
MedView (B747 ~ 1,100 bags per flight and pilot has to use the Company Credit card to pay for fuel, everything else as no credit facilities)
Royal Air Maroc (liable to be shite)

We were promised 380 staff being TUPE'd over. Reality is closer to 110. This is going to be utterly hilarious 

More cheap flights ....

[The Moan Ranger]

Kill me now.

easyJet (existing airline)
Aer Lingus (existing airline)
Icelandair (new airline)
Vueling (new)
Thomas Cook (new, ski flights 500ish bags)
Ryanair (new)
Small Planet (existing)
Titan (existing)
Montenegro (existing)
Aegean (new, 3 segregations of baggge (Local, Transfer and Priority))
Pegasus (new, 3 segragations)
Ukraine (new, 4 segragations)
Air Europa (existing)
Iraq (existing)
Wizz (existing)
TAP (new, 3 segratations)
Tunisair (new, 2 segragations)
Denim Air (fuck knows)
MedView (B747 ~ 1,100 bags per flight and pilot has to use the Company Credit card to pay for fuel, everything else as no credit facilities)
Royal Air Maroc (liable to be shite)

We were promised 380 staff being TUPE'd over. Reality is closer to 110. This is going to be utterly hilarious 

More cheap flights ....

More bags missing their flights 

[Steve]

Kill me now.

easyJet (existing airline)
Aer Lingus (existing airline)
Icelandair (new airline)
Vueling (new)
Thomas Cook (new, ski flights 500ish bags)
Ryanair (new)
Small Planet (existing)
Titan (existing)
Montenegro (existing)
Aegean (new, 3 segregations of baggge (Local, Transfer and Priority))
Pegasus (new, 3 segragations)
Ukraine (new, 4 segragations)
Air Europa (existing)
Iraq (existing)
Wizz (existing)
TAP (new, 3 segratations)
Tunisair (new, 2 segragations)
Denim Air (fuck knows)
MedView (B747 ~ 1,100 bags per flight and pilot has to use the Company Credit card to pay for fuel, everything else as no credit facilities)
Royal Air Maroc (liable to be shite)

We were promised 380 staff being TUPE'd over. Reality is closer to 110. This is going to be utterly hilarious 

More cheap flights ....

More bags missing their flights 

More hastily recruited staff getting in your way?

More "convicted terrorist nutter found working air side" headlines in the Daily Misery?

Think I'll avoid Airwick Gatport for a while

[The Moan Ranger]

My first day with all the new airlines. Generally, no real problems.

Except MedView. What a pile of unadulterated shite that is. A tide of human filth arriving from Lagos and the same going back - 455 passengers each with a baggage allowance of 70kg (economy) or 102kg (business class). And they utilise every kilo. Aggressive, no manners each and every passenger. The flight doesn't go until 2130, but when I left at 1900 we had already loaded 420 bags (every one 32kg) onto 12 bins. We couldn't do any more as we had no more bins until we emptied the inbound plane (24 bins on it).

On Friday night just gone  (I wasn't there) one of the passengers tried to board minus something important - her baby, who she had left in the toilets...

[Barman]

My first day with all the new airlines. Generally, no real problems.

Except MedView. What a pile of unadulterated shite that is. A tide of human filth arriving from Lagos and the same going back - 455 passengers each with a baggage allowance of 70kg (economy) or 102kg (business class). And they utilise every kilo. Aggressive, no manners each and every passenger. The flight doesn't go until 2130, but when I left at 1900 we had already loaded 420 bags (every one 32kg) onto 12 bins. We couldn't do any more as we had no more bins until we emptied the inbound plane (24 bins on it).

On Friday night just gone  (I wasn't there) one of the passengers tried to board minus something important - her baby, who she had left in the toilets...

i flew to Lagos with British Caledonian - what a nightmare that was.... 

Everybody on the aeroplane (apart from me) had a mahoosive holdall on their laps full of things they were taking back to sell - the bloke next to me had one full of zip fasteners...

We would never have got off in an emergency....

[The Moan Ranger]

My first day with all the new airlines. Generally, no real problems.

Except MedView. What a pile of unadulterated shite that is. A tide of human filth arriving from Lagos and the same going back - 455 passengers each with a baggage allowance of 70kg (economy) or 102kg (business class). And they utilise every kilo. Aggressive, no manners each and every passenger. The flight doesn't go until 2130, but when I left at 1900 we had already loaded 420 bags (every one 32kg) onto 12 bins. We couldn't do any more as we had no more bins until we emptied the inbound plane (24 bins on it).

On Friday night just gone  (I wasn't there) one of the passengers tried to board minus something important - her baby, who she had left in the toilets...

i flew to Lagos with British Caledonian - what a nightmare that was.... 

Everybody on the aeroplane (apart from me) had a mahoosive holdall on their laps full of things they were taking back to sell - the bloke next to me had one full of zip fasteners...

We would never have got off in an emergency....

The flight shouldn't be allowed - it goes out dangerously overweight, most AAA security is  conveniently ignored by the crew and some nights it is delayed until they can pay for the fuel they need. No-one on the airport wanted them. We were told by Gatwick to take them - and name our price. We charge easyJet  £550 per plane. We're charging MedView  £10,000. If MedView doesn't pay it, Gatwick will.

But it's still not enough.

[Steve]

"it goes out dangerously overweight"

It ain't just the passengers and crew at risk

[The Moan Ranger]

"it goes out dangerously overweight"

It ain't just the passengers and crew at risk

Gatwick has a long Runway and it needs every yard to clear the ground and then it crawls - very slowly - upwards. The fully loaded Emirates A380 is in the air 2/3 of the way...

[Steve]

"it goes out dangerously overweight"

It ain't just the passengers and crew at risk

Gatwick has a long Runway and it needs every yard to clear the ground and then it crawls - very slowly - upwards. The fully loaded Emirates A380 is in the air 2/3 of the way...

I guess there isn't a whistle-blower hotline for ground crew

[Miss Demeanour]

Yet if ever anything was to go wrong the finger of blame would not point in their direction no doubt