0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.
Tom CruiseThomas Cruise Mapother IV (born July 3, 1962) is an actor, a “producer,” a “heterosexual,” a couch-jumper, a Scientologist, and a dick. Although Cruise is 100% certifiably batshit crazy, craziness alone does not make one a dick (see: “Björk”). Tom Cruise’s dick qualifications have more to do with his creepy fakeness (i.e. creepy fake smile, creepy fake enthusiasm, creepy fake laugh) and his insistence on telling other people how to live their lives. It should be noted that acting is a profession based entirely on being fake, so the very fact that Cruise’s fakeness stands out amongst all other actors is what makes it so creepy and what makes him such a dick. Luckily for Cruise, as evidenced by his selection by Barbara Walters as one of America’s Top Ten Most Fascinating People of 2008, America finds dicks fascinating.
"A man is only as good as his glans". (Inspired by Nick's Aunty Nelly)