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Author Topic: Material for apc  (Read 117033 times)

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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #300 on: February 29, 2012, 06:16:08 AM »
It was my girl's big day and everyone was tense, so I decided to use humour as I addressed the reception:

"I don't feel like I'm losing a daughter" I said, looking towards her fiancé, "But like I'm gaining a spare room".

No one laughed.

It was probably the poor acoustics in the crematorium.
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #301 on: February 29, 2012, 06:17:50 AM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on February 29, 2012, 06:16:08 AM
It was my girl's big day and everyone was tense, so I decided to use humour as I addressed the reception:

"I don't feel like I'm losing a daughter" I said, looking towards her fiancé, "But like I'm gaining a spare room".

No one laughed.

It was probably the poor acoustics in the crematorium.

happy001
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #302 on: February 29, 2012, 06:23:01 AM »
Meryl Streeps new movie is missing a few letters, like "ING"
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #303 on: February 29, 2012, 06:24:31 AM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on February 29, 2012, 06:23:01 AM
Meryl Streeps new movie is missing a few letters, like "ING"

 tunble:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #304 on: February 29, 2012, 06:26:58 AM »
Quote from: Barman on February 29, 2012, 06:24:31 AM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on February 29, 2012, 06:23:01 AM
Meryl Streeps new movie is missing a few letters, like "ING"

 tunble:

Too early in the moning, eh, BM?
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #305 on: February 29, 2012, 06:28:31 AM »
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #306 on: February 29, 2012, 07:30:32 AM »
After year's of trying to find the wifes G spot, I found it at last (Her sister had it all along) ...!!!
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #307 on: February 29, 2012, 07:42:32 AM »
Quote from: Just One More on February 29, 2012, 07:30:32 AM
After year's of trying to find the wifes G spot, I found it at last (Her sister had it all along) ...!!!

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Pirate

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #308 on: February 29, 2012, 08:47:17 PM »
scientists discovered that most women will, at some point in their lives contain intelligent DNA.............


unfortunately 95% of them will spit it out!
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Offline Nick

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #309 on: February 29, 2012, 09:00:54 PM »
 scared:
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Offline Pirate

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #310 on: March 02, 2012, 08:41:14 PM »
 VP Scientists have discovered that beer contains female hormones.

To prove this they gave BM, TMR and APC 12 pints of best...

Suddenly they began to talk shite,  gained weight and couldn't drive... happy002 happy002
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #311 on: March 02, 2012, 08:52:39 PM »
Had sex last night with a girl who had eczema, cracking fanny
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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #312 on: March 04, 2012, 05:13:39 PM »
 :sick016:
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"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #313 on: March 04, 2012, 08:26:05 PM »
My Mum always used to say that if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody, then you shouldn't say anything at all. Well, I think Adolf Hitler was always very nicely turned out, Peter Sutcliffe always kept his beard nice and tidy; and Pol Pot was very nice to his mum.
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #314 on: March 04, 2012, 08:29:02 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on March 04, 2012, 08:26:05 PM
My Mum always used to say that if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody, then you shouldn't say anything at all. Well, I think Adolf Hitler was always very nicely turned out, Peter Sutcliffe always kept his beard nice and tidy; and Pol Pot was very nice to his mum.

 lol: lol: lol:
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