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Author Topic: Material for apc  (Read 117023 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #345 on: April 21, 2012, 12:51:08 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on April 21, 2012, 12:35:54 PM
The Mrs said I make love like a painter.
I replied "what, like Da Vinci, smooth strokes, attention to detail resulting in a masterpiece?
She said, "no like the council, rush the job leave a Fucking mess and I have to finish myself"

happy001
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #346 on: April 27, 2012, 12:55:24 PM »
The wife was thrilled by an e-mail this morning from eBay to tell her she was allowed free insertions all weekend.

Imagine her disappointment when I explained.
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #347 on: April 27, 2012, 01:10:58 PM »
Quote from: Darwins Selection on April 27, 2012, 12:55:24 PM
The wife was thrilled by an e-mail this morning from eBay to tell her she was allowed free insertions all weekend.

Imagine her disappointment when I explained.


 ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #348 on: April 27, 2012, 02:07:26 PM »
Quote from: Darwins Selection on April 27, 2012, 12:55:24 PM
The wife was thrilled by an e-mail this morning from eBay to tell her she was allowed free insertions all weekend.

Imagine her disappointment when I explained.

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #349 on: April 27, 2012, 11:39:21 PM »
Top tip ...........when you ask if any one has seen the new Maddie pics............don't say well she does look  quite fit now........... redface:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #350 on: April 28, 2012, 12:14:47 PM »
Paddy and Murphy are in the pub, Paddy turns to Murphy "What ringtone you got"
Murphy replies "Don't know, brownish I guess"

 redface:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #351 on: April 28, 2012, 12:46:53 PM »
Quote from: Grumpmeister on April 28, 2012, 12:14:47 PM
Paddy and Murphy are in the pub, Paddy turns to Murphy "What ringtone you got"
Murphy replies "Don't know, brownish I guess"

 redface:

Affs!
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #352 on: April 28, 2012, 12:54:37 PM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on April 28, 2012, 12:46:53 PM
Quote from: Grumpmeister on April 28, 2012, 12:14:47 PM
Paddy and Murphy are in the pub, Paddy turns to Murphy "What ringtone you got"
Murphy replies "Don't know, brownish I guess"

 redface:

Affs!

Correct!  Thumbs:

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg350650#msg350650
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #353 on: April 28, 2012, 04:16:03 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #354 on: April 28, 2012, 04:16:50 PM »
Double six  :thumbsup:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #355 on: April 29, 2012, 07:39:28 AM »
I asked the assistant in JJB Sports what a cricket box was. Apparently it's a piece of cheap plastic which men put their genitals in.

So, a bit like Katie Price then.





As I answered the front door dressed in high heels, stockings & suspenders, leather mini skirt and bright red lipstick, the Avon lady asked "Hello Sir, is your wife at home"? To which I replied "Take a wild fucking guess love"!
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #356 on: April 29, 2012, 08:03:57 AM »
Quote from: Just One More on April 29, 2012, 07:39:28 AM
I asked the assistant in JJB Sports what a cricket box was. Apparently it's a piece of cheap plastic which men put their genitals in.

So, a bit like Katie Price then.





As I answered the front door dressed in high heels, stockings & suspenders, leather mini skirt and bright red lipstick, the Avon lady asked "Hello Sir, is your wife at home"? To which I replied "Take a wild fucking guess love"!

Happy001 happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #357 on: April 29, 2012, 05:39:22 PM »
Went out on the bike earlier this evening and had a ride around the farm; was absolutley knackered when I got back. I asked the Mrs for some ice cream she said, "what flavour".
I replied, "I don't care, it's for my arse.



Tough day today, big run this morning, 3 games of football and cycling this afternoon. My missus said sky sports has to go!
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #358 on: April 29, 2012, 06:19:51 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on April 29, 2012, 05:39:22 PM
Went out on the bike earlier this evening and had a ride around the farm; was absolutley knackered when I got back. I asked the Mrs for some ice cream she said, "what flavour".
I replied, "I don't care, it's for my arse.



Tough day today, big run this morning, 3 games of football and cycling this afternoon. My missus said sky sports has to go!

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #359 on: April 30, 2012, 06:51:20 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on April 28, 2012, 04:16:03 PM
Quote from: Barman on April 28, 2012, 12:54:37 PM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on April 28, 2012, 12:46:53 PM
Quote from: Grumpmeister on April 28, 2012, 12:14:47 PM
Paddy and Murphy are in the pub, Paddy turns to Murphy "What ringtone you got"
Murphy replies "Don't know, brownish I guess"

 redface:

Affs!

Correct!  Thumbs:

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg350650#msg350650

Double Affs!!

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg297737#msg297737

Only a double Affs? Bugger, that was one of Dad's jokes so I was expecting at least a triple. Maybe he has a new joke book.  rubschin:
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