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Author Topic: Material for apc  (Read 117301 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #510 on: September 28, 2012, 06:52:13 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #511 on: September 29, 2012, 09:51:20 AM »
Go on, I dare you APC, I double dare you

I pulled a heavy duty munter last night down the boozer. Fuck me she looked like she'd been ducking for apples in a chip pan...had more hands up her than Sooty...been set on fire & put out with a golf shoe...got a face that could make an onion cry... so big I couldn't ride her into battle...seen more japs eyes than an oriental optician...a face like a stuntmans knee...a fanny like a yawning donkey...so ugly not even a sniper would take her out...been shot over more times than Sarejevo...has a
pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout...been cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's shotgun...an arse like a bag of spanners...a belly bigger than Santa Claus...


Still, at the end of the day, a shags a shag!

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #512 on: September 29, 2012, 09:56:31 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #513 on: September 29, 2012, 10:02:50 AM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on September 26, 2012, 05:34:56 AM
No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #514 on: September 29, 2012, 10:07:23 AM »
Quote from: Just One More on September 29, 2012, 10:02:50 AM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on September 26, 2012, 05:34:56 AM
No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15


happy001
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #515 on: September 29, 2012, 11:22:13 AM »
Quote from: Just One More on September 29, 2012, 10:02:50 AM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on September 26, 2012, 05:34:56 AM
No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

 ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #516 on: September 29, 2012, 06:05:37 PM »
Quote from: Just One More on September 29, 2012, 10:02:50 AM
Quote from: The Moan Ranger (Orderer of the Young's) on September 26, 2012, 05:34:56 AM
No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15
drumroll: drumroll:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #517 on: September 29, 2012, 08:35:28 PM »
One for the mathematicians...

If a 30yr old teacher, takes a 15yr old pupil, 120 miles to France travelling at an average speed of 40mph. How many years in prison will he get?
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #518 on: September 29, 2012, 10:09:23 PM »
Quote from: Baldy on September 27, 2012, 10:32:31 PM
The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, "I think the romance in this relationship is dead"

I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank.


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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #519 on: September 30, 2012, 06:55:12 AM »
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #520 on: October 01, 2012, 08:49:59 AM »
In hindsight, I should probably have written on Facebook, “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1998 Ford XR3,”
rather than, “I’ve just fucked a fourteen year old escort.”


The police still haven’t seen the funny side of it, and they’ve confiscated my laptop.


However, the news isn’t all bad; the wife has gone to stay with her mother.
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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #521 on: October 01, 2012, 09:13:37 AM »
Quote from: Baldy on October 01, 2012, 08:49:59 AM
In hindsight, I should probably have written on Facebook, “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1998 Ford XR3,”
rather than, “I’ve just fucked a fourteen year old escort.”


The police still haven’t seen the funny side of it, and they’ve confiscated my laptop.


However, the news isn’t all bad; the wife has gone to stay with her mother.

AFFS!

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8111.msg251606#msg251606
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #522 on: October 01, 2012, 09:28:04 PM »
I met a gorgeous girl in the park this morning , within minutes the sparks were flying and we were in the bushes making mad and passionate love .

I love my new taser gun .

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Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #523 on: October 02, 2012, 06:13:03 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #524 on: October 03, 2012, 07:33:40 PM »
Jimmy Saville was a big fan of jewellery...

He loved nothing more than squeezing his fingers into a couple of tight rings.
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