Material for apc

[Darwins Selection]

AFFS!

One of the privileges of age is the right to repeat oneself without embarrassment.

[Snoopy]

AFFS!

You called...?

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6605.msg169454#msg169454

One of the privileges of age is the right to repeat oneself without embarrassment.

You can say that again.

[Darwins Selection]

AFFS!

You called...?

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6605.msg169454#msg169454

One of the privileges of age is the right to repeat oneself without embarrassment.

You can say that again.

 
 

[Nick]

 

[Just One More]

Cole, Luiz, Essien, Ramires, Drogba, Mikel, Malouda, Bosingwa, Lukaku, Kalou, Sturridge, and Anelka...


Terry’s Chocolate Selection

[Barman]

Cole, Luiz, Essien, Ramires, Drogba, Mikel, Malouda, Bosingwa, Lukaku, Kalou, Sturridge, and Anelka...


Terry’s Chocolate Selection

Bastard! That's me new Lidl collapso all over the place! 

[Miss Demeanour]

But it's a football joke 

You don't do footy , foot , football 

[Just One More]

It's the way I tell 'em

[Barman]

But it's a football joke 

You don't do footy , foot , football 

I go that one tho! 

[Just One More]

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Robert Dyas's and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go.

While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught some beautiful bathroom taps. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is those taps?"
The manager replied, "They're gold plated taps and the price is £500.00.
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, they're expensive taps -- certainly out of my price range.."
 
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Madam, you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the taps."
 

[Barman]

 

[The Moan Ranger]

"Good morning, Direct Line Insurance, can I help you?"

"Yes, I read somewhere that my policy covers me for in-car entertainment?"

"Absolutely sir. What is the problem?"

"A dead prostitute."

[Barman]

"Good morning, Direct Line Insurance, can I help you?"

"Yes, I read somewhere that my policy covers me for in-car entertainment?"

"Absolutely sir. What is the problem?"

"A dead prostitute."

 

[Nick]

Little Johnny’s teacher  said, “If you have an apple, and when you get home your father gives you one… What have you got?”
Little Johnny said, “One apple and a sore arse, Miss.”

[Just One More]

Little Johnny’s teacher  said, “If you have an apple, and when you get home your father gives you one… What have you got?”
Little Johnny said, “One apple and a sore arse, Miss.”

Cox's