Material for apc

[Barman]

I have a real habit of acting out the names of any towns that I visit.

For example, when I went to Poole, I went swimming.

When I went to Rugby, I played Rugby.

When I went to Bath, I took a bath.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I need bailing out of Blackburn police station.

 

[Snoopy]

I have a real habit of acting out the names of any towns that I visit.

For example, when I went to Poole, I went swimming.

When I went to Rugby, I played Rugby.

When I went to Bath, I took a bath.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I need bailing out of Blackburn police station.

 

FFS Don't visit Cockermouth!!!! 

[Just One More]

 

[Barman]

Here is something for apc!

[Just One More]

My dyslexic girlfriend sent me a text saying she loved anal. My excitement disappeared when I got to her house and found she'd run off with my best friend Alan





Kenny Dalgliesh starts a new job next week for $ky TV. After a days training he puts his first dish up on Tuesday

[Barman]

My dyslexic girlfriend sent me a text saying she loved anal. My excitement disappeared when I got to her house and found she'd run off with my best friend Alan

[Just One More]

I thought I heard the ghost of Robin Gibb in my herb garden, but when I went to check it was just the chive talking   

[apc2010]

I thought I heard the ghost of Robin Gibb in my herb garden, but when I went to check it was just the chive talking   

 

[Barman]

I thought I heard the ghost of Robin Gibb in my herb garden, but when I went to check it was just the chive talking   

 

[Just One More]

My mate called me today and said, "I've just had a huge fight with the wife. Have you got a spare bed for a few weeks until I find a flat?"

"I'm afraid not," I replied, "but I've got a sofa, if that's any good."

"Perfect," he said. "You're an absolute legend! I'll send her round in a bit."   

[Barman]

 

[Baldy]

 

[The Moan Ranger]

If you leave a dog in a car in this weather, with no water or ventilation, it could be dead in fifteen minutes

Leave the heater on as well, wait another thirty minutes and the meat just falls off the bone.

[Barman]

If you leave a dog in a car in this weather, with no water or ventilation, it could be dead in fifteen minutes

Leave the heater on as well, wait another thirty minutes and the meat just falls off the bone.

 

[Just One More]

I'm about to take part in the Great Bradford Run. It's not an official race! I just stand in the City Centre and shout "Allah is wanker" & off we go.....



Saw a Muslim with three lions on his chest today........ I fucking love Knowsley safari park!!



The England team visited an orphanage in Poland today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Igor, aged 6.