Author Topic: Material for apc  (Read 117071 times)

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Offline Baldy

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #405 on: June 28, 2012, 07:11:48 AM »
My girlfriend just said " Can you explain to me why I've just found a pair of knickers in your coat pocket"

I said "Yes it's because you're a nosey c***"

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #406 on: June 28, 2012, 09:18:51 PM »
A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well,Sister, this looks pretty grim.'

'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two..'
'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?'
'Anything, Father.'
'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.'
'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?'.......she consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

'Father, could I ask something of you?'
'Yes, Sister?'
'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?'
'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.
'Oh Father, may I touch it?'
The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sSporting a huge erection.
'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give Life.'
'Is that true Father?'
'Yes, it is, Sister.'

'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get tThe hell out of here!'
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #407 on: June 29, 2012, 06:24:27 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #408 on: July 03, 2012, 08:05:34 PM »
I was in a pub and this little Chinese guy comes in & stands next to me. After about 5 mins, I said to him, do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu.
He says, No, why a fluck you ask me dat. It coz I Chinee?

No, I said. Its cos ur drinking my beer, you slanty-eyed little bastard
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Baldy

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #409 on: July 03, 2012, 08:10:23 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #410 on: July 03, 2012, 08:24:22 PM »
Just seen Rolf Harris in my local shop. The woman serving asked if he was that bloke from the 70's who did 'Two Little Boy's'....'No', he replied. 'That was Gary Glitter'
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Baldy

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #411 on: July 03, 2012, 08:32:25 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #412 on: July 04, 2012, 04:31:09 AM »
Just seen Rolf Harris in my local shop. The woman serving asked if he was that bloke from the 70's who did 'Two Little Boy's'....'No', he replied. 'That was Gary Glitter'

happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #413 on: July 04, 2012, 08:34:41 PM »
There where no paedos in my day , No! In my day you had buy you own sweets and ask you mum for a puppy.  redface:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #414 on: July 05, 2012, 06:59:35 AM »
There where no paedos in my day , No! In my day you had buy you own sweets and ask you mum for a puppy.  redface:

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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #415 on: July 07, 2012, 05:56:25 PM »
Bob Diamond used to be known as Bob Coal...but he's been under a lot of pressure lately....
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Just One More

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #416 on: July 07, 2012, 06:03:07 PM »
 drumroll:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #417 on: July 08, 2012, 06:24:59 AM »
Bob Diamond used to be known as Bob Coal...but he's been under a lot of pressure lately....

happy001
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #418 on: July 09, 2012, 11:24:57 AM »
A Muslim has died whilst training to be a Skydiver. The "BNP School of Diving" said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open.


Offline apc2010

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Re: Material for apc
« Reply #419 on: July 09, 2012, 11:27:23 AM »
A Muslim has died whilst training to be a Skydiver. The "BNP School of Diving" said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers did not open.


 ;D ;D