Material for apc

[Barman]

 

[Just One More]

Go on, I dare you APC, I double dare you

I pulled a heavy duty munter last night down the boozer. Fuck me she looked like she'd been ducking for apples in a chip pan...had more hands up her than Sooty...been set on fire & put out with a golf shoe...got a face that could make an onion cry... so big I couldn't ride her into battle...seen more japs eyes than an oriental optician...a face like a stuntmans knee...a fanny like a yawning donkey...so ugly not even a sniper would take her out...been shot over more times than Sarejevo...has a
pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout...been cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's shotgun...an arse like a bag of spanners...a belly bigger than Santa Claus...


Still, at the end of the day, a shags a shag!

[Miss Demeanour]

 

[Just One More]

No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

[Barman]

No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

[apc2010]

No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

 

[Darwins Selection]

No wonder kids are fucked these days.

To pass their Maths exam they need to do French oral.

At least she'll know how many times 30 goes in to 15

[Just One More]

One for the mathematicians...

If a 30yr old teacher, takes a 15yr old pupil, 120 miles to France travelling at an average speed of 40mph. How many years in prison will he get?

[Just One More]

The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, "I think the romance in this relationship is dead"

I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank.

[Barman]

http://youtu.be/iJqw-idOwUc

 

[Baldy]

In hindsight, I should probably have written on Facebook, “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1998 Ford XR3,”
rather than, “I’ve just fucked a fourteen year old escort.”


The police still haven’t seen the funny side of it, and they’ve confiscated my laptop.


However, the news isn’t all bad; the wife has gone to stay with her mother.

[Barman]

In hindsight, I should probably have written on Facebook, “I’ve blown the head gasket on my 1998 Ford XR3,”
rather than, “I’ve just fucked a fourteen year old escort.”


The police still haven’t seen the funny side of it, and they’ve confiscated my laptop.


However, the news isn’t all bad; the wife has gone to stay with her mother.

AFFS!

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=8111.msg251606#msg251606

[Just One More]

I met a gorgeous girl in the park this morning , within minutes the sparks were flying and we were in the bushes making mad and passionate love .

I love my new taser gun .

[Barman]

 

[Just One More]

Jimmy Saville was a big fan of jewellery...

He loved nothing more than squeezing his fingers into a couple of tight rings.