Material for apc

[Barman]

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. Then the nurse came.

At that point, she whispered the 5 words no man ever wants to hear: "Who the fuck was that?

It was probably Mister Gordon.... 

[Just One More]

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the house down! A muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire koran on dvd - interested I asked him to burn me a copy - well fcuk me, then it all kicked off!

[Barman]

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the house down! A muslim bloke was bragging that he had the entire koran on dvd - interested I asked him to burn me a copy - well fcuk me, then it all kicked off!

Funny but sadly an AFFS moment JOM.... 

Most unlike you.... 

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=6101.msg396132#msg396132

[Just One More]

Good spot, but it's not a full Affs 

[Barman]

Good spot, but it's not a full Affs 

An AFFette then...? 

[Darwins Selection]

Good spot, but it's not a full Affs 

An AFFette then...? 

AFFish I think.

[Barman]

Good spot, but it's not a full Affs 

An AFFette then...? 

AFFish I think.

Called Wanda...? 

[boogs]

A little boy asked his Dad:   What’s between mom’s legs?

The father answers:   Paradise, my son.


The kid asks again

:   What’s between your legs?

The father replies:   The key to the paradise.


The son says:   Piece of advice Dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a duplicate key.

[Darwins Selection]

Good spot, but it's not a full Affs 

An AFFette then...? 

AFFish I think.

Called Wanda...? 

[Darwins Selection]

A little boy asked his Dad:   What’s between mom’s legs?

The father answers:   Paradise, my son.


The kid asks again

:   What’s between your legs?

The father replies:   The key to the paradise.


The son says:   Piece of advice Dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a duplicate key.

See also: Joke #572341. "Mum nearly died today"

[apc2010]

Right keep them coming ....after Oct will have to start again ,,,,,

[Just One More]

I was in Turkey on holiday and came across one of those Turkish bath houses. They shaved with a solid steel stoneground razor from below the neckline, inside the ears, snipped out nose hairs, waxed off chest hairs and plucked all the hairs out of the arse crack, all finished off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub. Honestly, the wife's never looked so fucking good!

[boogs]

I was in Turkey on holiday and came across one of those Turkish bath houses. They shaved with a solid steel stoneground razor from below the neckline, inside the ears, snipped out nose hairs, waxed off chest hairs and plucked all the hairs out of the arse crack, all finished off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub. Honestly, the wife's never looked so fucking good!

 

[Steve]

I was in Turkey on holiday and came across one of those Turkish bath houses. They shaved with a solid steel stoneground razor from below the neckline, inside the ears, snipped out nose hairs, waxed off chest hairs and plucked all the hairs out of the arse crack, all finished off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub. Honestly, the wife's never looked so fucking good!

 

[Barman]

I was in Turkey on holiday and came across one of those Turkish bath houses. They shaved with a solid steel stoneground razor from below the neckline, inside the ears, snipped out nose hairs, waxed off chest hairs and plucked all the hairs out of the arse crack, all finished off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub. Honestly, the wife's never looked so fucking good!