My car has gone in for repairs, so they have provided me with an all singing/dancing Toyota Avensis. I might as well not be there
Turned the key, I couldn't start the thing... oh you need to press the brake and clutch down together said the guy who had it before when I called him
It said the handbrake is on, could I find it, could I bollocks ... It doesn't have a conventional handbrake said the guy who had it before when I called him again, you have to pull that button just to the left of the steering wheel, and press it to put it on... I've never realised that I like the feel of pulling the handbrake on, and then releasing it until yesterday
Light comes on - you need to move up a gear... I f*****g know that
Light comes on - you need to move down a gear... I f*****g know that too
Ooh, it's a bit dark ... I'll put the lights on for you
Ooh, a drop of rain hit me... I'll put the wipers on for you
I get home, turn off the engine (after pressing my handbrake on)
, opens the door and a light comes on and a bleeping noise... your drivers door is open ... I f*****g know that, that's how I get out of the car
The cruise control buttons are staring at me urging me to press them, I've never used them on the Mondeo in two years, so they can f**k off too
I am know thumbing through the manual, it's the size of War and Peace
I want my Renault 16 back
