At last we learn a little bit more about D.S

[Miss Demeanour]

Farmer aged 90 with 50 children and 100 grandchildren

 http://www.metro.co.uk/news/world/875949-farmer-aged-90-with-50-children-and-100-grandchildren#ixzz1YTTgMesq

Farmer Luiz Costa de Oliveira has certainly sowed his wild oats in his 90 years, by fathering 50 children by four women, including two sisters and their mother

He has more than 100 grandchildren and 30 great-grandchildren –  although he admits he can’t remember all their names.

 
Luiz Costa de Oliveira says he likes making love  ‘I could have other children out there that I don’t know about because I’ve always liked making love,’ he said.

His first wife Francisca gave birth to 17 children before she died.

He found love again with Maria Francisca da Silva and added another 17 youngsters to his tally, only to fall for her sister Ozelita, who had 15 of his children.

His complex family life became even more complicated when the sisters’ mother, Francisca Maria da Silva, succumbed to his advances and gave him another child.

‘I hardly make love any more these days, even though I’m in good health,’ said Mr de Oliveira, from the Rio Grande do Norte region of north-east Brazil.



 

[Snoopy]

I am in awe! 

[Darwins Selection]

Fresh country air is good for a chap. 

[Snoopy]

As is Vaseline

[The Moan Ranger]

As is Vaseline

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
greeted by a young woman with three small children running
around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.

Have you ever used the product?'

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie
to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a
gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I
admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me
exactly how you use it for sex?'

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on thedoor knob and it keeps the kids out.'

[tel]

Christ, that joke is older than you!

[Snoopy]

  I think it is older than me.

[Darwins Selection]

I think it is older than me.

The Vaseline® journey started in 1859, when a 22 year-old chemist from Brooklyn, New York named Robert A. Chesebrough, went to Pennsylvania to investigate an oil well. The oil industry was in its infancy, and Chesebrough, like many, was hoping to profit from it.

While Chesebrough was there, he discovered a gooey substance known as 'Rod Wax' that was causing the oil rig workers problems, as it stuck to the drilling rigs, causing them to seize up.

Chesebrough noticed that oil workers would smear their skin with the residue from their drills, as it appeared to aid the healing of cuts and burns. His curiosity led him to take some Rod Wax home with him and start experimenting with it. After months of testing, he managed to successfully extract usable petroleum jelly.

By 1870, Chesebrough was marketing his petroleum jelly product by the name of Vaseline®, and within ten years, the product's increased exposure and popularity meant that almost every household in America had a jar of Vaseline®.
 

[snigger] "Rod Wax" [/snigger]

[Barman]

As is Vaseline

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
greeted by a young woman with three small children running
around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.

Have you ever used the product?'

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie
to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a
gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I
admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me
exactly how you use it for sex?'

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on thedoor knob and it keeps the kids out.'

(C) Billy Connelly 1973